A Seabee & His Angel

So Much for Plans

2012-01-09T00:55:00.002-07:00

So much for my wonderful plans of posting my recovery---I thought I would be good and be one of those people that think that what they say will help people and have some emotional impact on them. Instead I have taken a lot of pain meds, whined, cried a lot, learned that percocet keeps you awake-makes you tired-makes you cry-and gives you something similar to "roid rage" where if you messed up a bill or my cable signal is out you better watch out!!

There are moments I would like to scream and throw something and kick a hole in a wall and other days I curl up in my bed and think I never want to leave and it takes everything I have to get up and go to the bathroom. They said the pain would be bad, the back pain is not bad maybe because I have been in this situation for months but the pain in my stomach is bad. It's as if someone is giving a demonstration like at the fair with their Ginsu knives from the inside near my belly button and scratching my outside skin with a steel wool pad after a bad sunburn.

I know stay positive! The nerve pain down my leg is gone, my tail bone pain from the last few years gone! Not as much pain in my back but it's hard to tell as I'm still healing. Surprise Surprise the incision hasn't healed all the way, and I found blood from the one on the side which I swear last week was healed over...who knows anymore. I just wished that things would heal I feel like it holds me back.

Physical therapy keeps going twice a week, can't take it too fast they say because they don't want a set back. I know that they are good and Dave really goes the extra mile to speak to me about things. It just makes it hard when there is no comparison. No "normal" to say this is how long it will take, i'm going crazy.

Perhaps it will be different, tomorrow I start classes-won't it be weird to be a "college student" for a month, no work just school and studies and nothing else! Maybe I will try to get ahead so that once I go back to work if i'm tired it won't be so hard.

So much for plans to go to bed!

8 days and counting

2011-11-06T22:42:00.000-07:00

Can it truly be?!?! The pain has been bad, I can sense that the herniation is moving and pressing on different things. Right now my forearm hurts in a one inch spot, both legs are tingling and my right calf is a charlie horse. Better than the arm's feeling like I had hit my funny bone though...good times! I've gotten some of my school work completed, still have a lot to do I feel like, daughter wrecked the car yesterday so just another thing that I put on the to do list!

I wish it was tomorrow, I wish I didn't have this long to think about it and all that is to come. We put my bed up today, I wish I didn't have to sleep upstairs by myself but I know it's for the best. Even if I was sleeping with hubby I would keep him up. I need to clean up a bit. I need to make my list of questions to ask the doctor on Thursday. That's what I should be doing but i'm just not feeling it. Not feeling a lot of anything.

8 days and counting

Widgets

2011-10-23T21:44:00.001-06:00

I thought that a widget would be a good idea, to remind me of my upcoming surgery. It's in 23 days for those counting, but with my widget I don't have to count. problem is that in a way it's good and in another way it's very bad, as a constant reminder. I just feel like I have so much to do, so much school work to do and things to do around the house. I know that there's probably not a LOT that I HAVE to do around the house but i'm a bit of a control freak and to know that I won't be able to do anything for at least a month and will just have to sit there and let others do for me...well that is way too much for me to think about! I had a bit of a break down at work the other day. A behavior review and he had nothing but good things to say, but I started crying, like tissue blowing my nose crying. Why? Because I'm MAD and UPSET and SCARED why not? I hate that I have to leave because i'm really doing some great things and i'm on the right track, and I hate to feel like someone that's not worthy and to tell my co workers that I know they will be out working but i'll be off for 3 months. I'm upset because I already did this, why should I have to do it again! I'm scared of the pain, of the embarrassment, of the struggle that is ahead and the work. I'm lazy and tired, sometimes I don't think I have the energy.

Tuesday I meet with the thoracic surgeon who will assist the orthopedic surgeon. I need to come up with my questions. Why do I feel like i want to know everything yet nothing?

Worse than Chronic Pain

2011-10-13T22:52:00.003-06:00

Life will sometimes play tricks on you, give you more than you think you can handle but sometimes as you reach out to people you lean on them for strength and support. Your friends are amazing people who help you thru the troubled times. You tell them you need them, you tell them you want them to be there for you. You even explain to them, or try to that sometimes you can't control the pain you have. Sometimes you aren't fun to be around and sometimes your feelings are hurt by things that might not matter to others. They ask if you need anything--you don't need anything except for them to be there for you but they won't. For whatever reason they cant. You ask them to go to a specific place with you, sometimes you ask for years but they won't. Then one day you see that they are going to that exact place with someone else. Maybe it's due to the distance that has come up between you two, maybe it's because when they say "let me know if you need anything" you feel like it's a fake statement, a true friend would remember when you told them maybe you can come visit and bring me a coffee when I'm housebound and they would come over. A real friend wouldn't even tell you to do that, they would say what can I do for you....Maybe it's in your heart that you feel betrayed, who knows but I do know what is worse than chronic pain and believe me when I say I know what Chronic pain is!

A Letter To Normals

2011-10-10T00:20:00.000-06:00

Maybe Someday

2011-10-09T23:17:00.004-06:00

Sunday night, hubby and daughter in bed--even the dogs are sleeping. Which admittedly isn't that rare since i'm pretty sure that's the all the dogs do, well that and bark. But I can't sleep. What else is new? My back is spasming, my sides hurt, i'm pretty sure my nightgown has razor blades in it (or else it just feels like it), i'm just not tired. Could be the back issue or it could be the 24 ounces of Pepsi I drank after dinner.

I meet with the new surgeon tomorrow, I keep having nightmares. Not that he will tell me I have to have surgery but he will tell me I WON'T have surgery. I couldn't go on with this pain, this discomfort, this hell that I've been in. I know that it's probably not true, I'm sure when we go in he will schedule me for surgery...I'm going to have him answer my questions first though. I am not as scared as I was before, it's not as upsetting as it was before and I've not been taking my pain meds so that I am not cloudy headed or weepy when i go in there tomorrow. Of course I'm also taking my hubby this time. But they call them nightmares because they are your worst fear, scarey and unreasonable so it's natural. That would be my worst fear to be told there wasn't anything that could be done and I would be this forever.

Hubby said "You ready to go to bed grandma?" I said "Grandma?" He said that I walk like a grandma, I thought maybe it was my oh so sexy nightgown I was wearing but no it was my weeble wobble walking. I look forward to not being that weeble wobble anymore, somedays I walk better than others, some days I don't limp and somedays my feet don't take a lot more effort than they once did to make them work. Somedays. I keep looking forward to those somedays, the future somedays.

Those days when I look at my heels I bought and think "Someday". Those days when I think of being able to roll over in bed without a huge ordeal "Someday". That time when I can actually get down on the ground and get back up by myself without something to lean on "Someday". The day I feel normal again "Someday". I only wish it was today, yesterday, anyday but for now I will hope for "Someday".

So this is why I am still awake, thoughts and pain and fear. Funny they dont' make a magic pill to make all of it go away. Maybe someday they will.

Chocolate Hazlenut Cake

2011-10-01T19:11:00.002-06:00

We went to a friends home last night for a party and had chocolate hazlenut cake..yum and she let me take the rest home. I'm wondering if she had some motive in doing that--probably knowing I would eat it and not her! So I have eaten, twice today. I see nothing wrong with having some cake for breakfast, probably less calories than a belgian waffle with strawberries and whipped cream...seriously like I would make that for us at home!

So here I am laying on the couch feeling very lazy and tired. My back is causing some discomfort today along with the nerve pain. Thank goodness only 8 more days and I see the new surgeon! I can't wait. I also called the hospital and requested the authorization form to get my medical records from them. I am hoping it will have my op report in it, as the reports that "his" office sent my doctor had nothing but 2 follow up appointment paperwork in it. Nothing about my epidural steroid shots, my continued complaints of pain, nothing about my incision not healing and their referral to wound care..how can all of that happen and NO records!?! How can I go repeatidly and they not keep a record of good or bad.

Who knows and I am going to ask and hopefully the new doctor can explain everything to me. I'm concerned that I have to have faith in another doctor when I offered my trust to the last one and this is where i'm at now.

Another Day I call Tuesday

2011-09-27T23:22:00.002-06:00

So it's been another day, the day is almost at the end and AGAIN i'm not in bed with my husband! No instead i'm here waiting for the pills to kick in. That's what my life has become I think--what did the doctor call me the other day I went there...a pillbox! Yeah sometimes I really feel like that when I fill out the "current medication" list part of the questions.

Did pretty well on a quiz in my social psychology class which i'm pretty happy about. Everyone was complaining and going on and on about how difficult it was. I got a 88% not too bad, not perfect but then I can't be everyday.

I also had a good productive day at work, had a good talk with my supervisor. I'm really wishing that it was October 10th, and I had an answer. I know that there is no other answer but until the surgeon looks at me and says "Okay I have surgery dates open on...." I'm still in limbo. I refuse to admit or guess what my future holds until I'm told that. Is that an optimism bias or avoidance? Maybe a little of both....

If I have the surgery my supervisor said this time I have to stay home until I'm better, not push it to come back because mentally i'm going crazy. He said that it's better to go crazy mentally for a couple weeks than come back a couple weeks too soon. He's right and I know that I will need to stay home as long as needed so that I can get better. I honestly feel in my heart and mind (I have to because other wise it would be ridiculous) that this time it will be better and everything will be fixed and life will be good! So I don't want to push it but would rather be better and get to go back to my life like it was February 27th. I'm lucky to have a family that loves me and has stood by me this whole time as I have fought thru my struggles and hopefully will come out ahead.

Each day it seems like something else is happening. Something else is bothered by my condition. My arms have began to hurt now....it's almost like muscle fatigue and carpal tunnel put together with some nerve pain thrown in for fun. Maybe this weekend when I have more time I will list the different pain levels I have and how it feels to be me for a moment. That sounds very melodramatic but it might be good to get it out.

Awww sweet bedtime is calling me...I look forward to sleep! And another busy day ahead of me.

Where I should be

2011-09-26T23:10:00.004-06:00

This is definitely not where I should be. Sometimes we wake up and look around and know that something isn't right, other times we have a hard time waking up because we can't sleep. So here I am on the couch, not sleeping where I should be with my dearest hubby but rather watching TV and letting my fingers do the talking since nobody else is awake to talk to.

So this year has been an interesting year. I had an experience that I hope nobody that I care about has to experience which is back surgery. A large herniation from the T11-T12 happened and it was decided that I needed to do surgery as soon as possible. So I did and prayed that everything would be good, it would be a hard recovery but worth it and manageable. Well short story is that it didn't work out that way. So here I am again, where I shouldn't be.

MRI shows the herniation is still there. How does that happen you ask? I'm not sure but I aim to find out. The pain is bad, I had my family doctor take me off the Lyrica. Thank god for small miracles I used to feel drunk bloated and gained 20 pounds on that. Who knew it was helping somewhat with the nerve and back pain. I found that out because after coming off it the pain is even worse. I imagine had I come off the lyrica in the months since the surgery I probably would have gone for a second opinion quicker than I did.

Either way--Cymbalta didn't help either too many side effects...have you ever heard of excessive yawning? Sounds weird doesn't it? Well it's a real side effect...trust me!! So right now I'm everyday pill free. That means I only take the ones listed "as needed" on the labels! YAY! Of course the pain level is high, but hey only a couple more weeks and I find out what my future holds. I"m guessing surgery again, how can I be cursed with another surgery?!?!

People talk about multiple back surgeries, which I could handle if the first one failed but it didn't. I suppose you could say it maybe failed...or was that the surgeon that failed to remove the herniation? Makes no sense...I hope the new doctor can explain it to me, answer all my questions and fix it.

Pain pain go away this is a place I shouldn't be.

Getting Back

2011-06-29T21:43:00.003-06:00

Well it's been a long time since my surgery...heck it's been longer than my last blog post! It's been 3 months, seems like forever...longest 3 months of my life! But still not there. Why do people keep asking me about my back? I get frustrated with the questions, I try not to go crazy because I know that they are asking because they want to see me better but i'm tired of saying the same thing "No real changes just plugging along" and try to smile like my whole life hasn't changed!

I am feeling a slight bit difference so i'm glad for that, I've been to physical therapy once last week. I thought it would be progressing quicker than it has been.

Of course the good thing is that i feel good about work, it's been really crazy with some things but I have had the opportunity to step up and really be an assest that people notice. I like what i'm doing and hope that I don't have to go back to my "normal" position anytime soon. From what i've heard there is a possibility that I won't but you never know!

Beauty, how far is too far?

2011-04-11T13:16:00.003-06:00

In February a British tourist checked into a Hampton Inn for a “buttock-enhancement” surgery performed in a hotel suite by a supposed “Doctor” and later died as a complication after being admitted to the hospital for chest pains. This is not an isolated incident in recent times nor will it be the last person we hear about who will die in the pursuit of beauty. It would be easy to blame the doctors or even the women who use these “back-room” procedures to save money or get a surgery that a reputable doctor won’t perform but in reality we need to address the larger societal issues that make these women seek out these dangerous situations. (NY Daily News, 2011)

There are some that are happy with what nature has given them and some that will never be happy. They are the ones that will strive to be the definition of beauty, at all costs. We see the billboards even in our own city as we drive downtown advertising liposuction, laser surgery and breast implants. The women and men on the billboards do not appear to need any of the work that is being advertised. These are bodies that many strive to look like but as our children drive past they are being told even this body needs work. An elective surgery of breast implants, which according to the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery (ASAPS) were performed 355,671 times in 2008 (Accespro.org, 2009) is one of the leading procedures performed. Studies also show that the most common reason given for getting breast implants is to feel “better” about their bodies, although it is our environment and culture which has reinforced this warped sense of body image.

A study in 2004 by University of Exeter (BBC Local Devon, 2004) showed that newborn babies are drawn to a photo of a fashion model versus a plain looking woman. This study showed that even at birth there is an imprinted view of what beauty is and that the babies can distinguish this from that first moment. As we humans get older we expand on this imprinting and continually seek out beauty in ourselves and others. Because of this search and people continuingly striving to be viewed as beautiful there are many people that go to extremes to fit in. Every year there are women who die looking for the perfect body, the flawless skin and to fit into a category of beautiful.

We are familiar with the stories of women that go too far and celebrities whom already make money off of the way they look that then have multiple surgeries to enhance their beauty while they are only creating a façade of who they really are. As we raise our children in this world to consider beauty from within the fight gets harder. Trying to convince a teenager that her freckles are beautiful, that she’s not too skinny or too chubby or to not worry that her chest isn’t as developed as her friends soon becomes a full time job with the media and our general sense of beauty overriding all the words you can say. We fight against the natural tendencies within ourselves to seek out beauty and to be happy.

When it becomes an obsession as it does for some people they will go to any length to get what they need much like a drug addict. An anorexic will never be able to see themselves as too thin and will always see that extra inch that they could lose and when denied assistance by a reputable doctor will then visit the dangerous “back-room” doctors who will operate for a fee with very little conscious.

This is a simple epidemic of supply and demand. If we can convince the future generations that they do not need to go to drastic measures to be a commonly accepted form of “beautiful” then soon we will no longer support these doctors who are killing and maiming our future. There are times when plastic surgery is needed, there are doctors that do great things assisting those that have a medical need for reconstructive surgery but those are in a different class.

How far is too far to be beautiful, is a decision that we all have to make and that we need to help our children decide. Remove a mole, correct a scar, shave a bit off your nose or enhance your breasts and you are changing what nature has given you. It may make you beautiful but if you knew that you would die for a nose job or a breast enhancement would it be worth it? There are some that would agree the risk outweighs not being happy and those are the ones that need to be helped the most.

Works Cited

Accespro.org. (2009, March 17). Retrieved from http://acesspro.org/plastic-surgery/breast-augmentation-statistics-for-2008

BBC Local Devon. (2004, 9 7). Retrieved from BBC: http://www.bbc.co.uk/devon/news_features/2004/baby_faces.shtml

NY Daily News. (2011, 02 8). Retrieved from NY Daily News.com: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/2011/02/08/2011-02-08_woman_dies_after_butt_implant_procedure_tourist_underwent_backdoor_silicone_surg.html?r=news

My Space in the WWW

2011-04-10T15:17:00.002-06:00

So it's been forever since I have written anything. I was thinking that I would start writing more. My husband has been encouraging me to get into writing and publishing through Amazon for additional money and I think that I will give it a shot.

I've been home for the last month and half on pain killers since I hurt my knee and back on 2/28 and have not been able to work since. Thank god for short term disability!! Then I had back surgery on 3/28 yikes that has been hell for sure!!

But i've finally come out of the haze of painkillers and muscle relaxers enough to log on and do some work on my college classes. I will be posting a commentary on here due to an online media assignment but I think that I will be on here more.

My opinions and thoughts need to be heard! And like hubby says maybe i'm "bored of talking to him" since i've been home I need outside stimuli. Not sure if this will give me any but it will give me a voice again!

White Christmas

2007-12-23T21:03:00.001-07:00

Did I ever mention that I hate the snow? Okay maybe not hate the snow itself but all the work and pain it creates in my life.....Do you think my hubby plans to leave over a winter so he doesn't have to shovel snow? I need to look into that.....

I hate shoveling snow out of my driveway and seeing the house across the street who's driveway faces south free of snow...thank you sun gods!

I hate watching it coming down and hearing all the cars sliding around and knowing that the next day will only be a hella day for me and claims.

I hate fighting with my daughter that it's too cold outside to be wearing only a fur lined hoodie from Aeropostale and not her heavy coat.

Blah I hate the snow....why don't I live in Texas? Oh right I hate cockroaches even more!

For now I will get thru one more winter and he can shovel the snow when he gets back. My luck he will be the one that doesn't think we are too poor to buy a snowblower.....

I hope all of you have a White Christmas and it's beatiful and filled with happy cocoa memories!!

Not My First Rodeo

2007-11-03T23:09:00.000-06:00

Well it was only 2 years ago that hubby came back from a 14 month deployment...and today he left again for a year. But then like the title says---not my first rodeo so it will pass quickly right? Yep that's what they say.

Do I think that this time it will be harder or easier? I'm not sure...the first time you dont' know how you will handle it...how things will affect you...how lonely you will get....how frustrating it will be when you can't do something that he has always done for you....This time I know all that.

Of course this time I have a better job that's not so stressful, more money to pay others to do home items, and a mission. So it's all good...ride cowboy ride cause this isn't my first rodeo but hopefully will be my last for a while!

Christmas is Coming

2006-12-09T10:38:00.000-07:00

Well Christmas is coming...do I have all my presents done? Yeah I wish! I am making gift baskets for most of the people on my list but I swear they will be done THIS weekend! I just have a few other things to buy and then i'm done. Hubby bought me my present last night and hooked it up....my house is now a wireless haven that I can use my laptop on the couch or anywhere I want! I'm very excited because I hate sitting at my desk and having to use the laptop. He was going to buy me a Siruis Satellite radio but I told him I wanted that after the New Year because that's when I get my new car for work and will need it because I will be driving around all day. I saw no sense in paying for it and not being able to use it till then really anyway. So he keeps saying that it sucks because he has to keep telling me about my presents. He wanted this hooked up before christmas though so when the kids are here they can use the laptops especially my daughter because that is what she is getting for christmas. Then I put a stop to the satellite radio LOL And the gym membership I wanted he said just to go and get whenever I wanted. I keep asking for a robe but I think he doesn't like the idea....He prefers naked LOL So who knows I guess i will see if I get a robe or not! I put up the decorations but waiting for my daughter to be here to put up the tree with her. We are going to use our red white and blue decorations that we bought two years ago and have never put up because last year we didn't have a tree. So it's going to be a patriotic christmas this year. I am hoping to get a picture of the family in front of the tree :) Well I better get going on my christmas stuff. I am going to begin to write more on here like I used to. It won't be that hard now that I am wireless baby!!

First Day Tommarrow

2006-10-17T21:59:00.000-06:00

Okay well tommarrow is my first day at my new job so I need to go take a bath and relax so I can get to bed before 3 am. I have to say that i'm trying very hard to be excited about it--and failing miserably. It's kinda a step down for me but that's okay. I know the people seem nice...we shall see how it goes. It doesn't pay as well as I want but right now it pays more than some other jobs. I have the coffee pot primed, the lunch made, clothes picked out and the alarm clock set. I am good to go for the morning....the weirdest part is that it has been a 1 1/2 since I have worked a normal job. I didn't work for 7 months then drove with my hubby and haven't worked at all for a month. I enjoy not working...except for the fact that I just can't figure out who to have the money I want to have when I don't work! Well tommarrow is the start of my 40 hour a week future!

The Ball-I'm beginning to hate this day.

2006-10-14T08:07:00.000-06:00

Okay I couldn't think of a good title for this post. But hey he's mad at me so I guess that might work! Why is it that the last little while I just feel like I can't do anything right? So today is the Navy Ball....He likes to wear his Dinner Dress Blues to it rather than his regular dress blues. I took his shirt to be laundered and pressed, bought him a new pair of pants (apparently I lost them while he was deployed because when he got back and after 2 years of not wearing them they were missing) I have hemmed them and pressed them, took his Uniform Jacket to have the new rank sewn on....and at the same time during the interim I have misplaced the box where his cuff links are, a button off his jacket is missing so that is my fault because at some point during the trip to the seamstress and back the button is gone. I was sitting there while she sewed the rank patch on so I have to call her this morning and see if she has it. I have no idea where I put his dress socks so I guess I will have to buy some new ones along with the cufflinks.

This morning when he said the button is missing I guess I asked him too many times if he was sure....I asked him "What button?" (He answered) "Are you sure it was there before I took it over there?" (He answered) "It's not the button that is in the jewelry box that you took off?" <---My bad Should have stopped at "What Button?" But silly me I tend to ask more questions than he thinks is appropriate. So i've only been awake an hour and it's allready been a shitty day...just wait till I have to put on pantyhose!

We don't have a lot of money right because we changed jobs so I had considered not having my hair done but with it being so long and my lack of skills regarding the back part I had changed my mind about what I was going to do with it and suggested we drop by the store and get a barrette so I could pull the front part back...well that prompted a bit of a snappy reply to him about not caring about my hair (it was more colorful than that but i'm being nice) because apparently I decided to do a bun, which looked stupid--leave it straight and kinda curl it--doesn't look formal enough and now a barrette?!?! HOW DARE I be worried and self concious and hate the way that my hair looks and consider more than the one option!! I'm always doing that though...considering my options and mentioning them out loud...You'd think I would see someone about that! But no I haven't seeked professional help for that habit yet.

I am beginning to feel bad about myself some days and I've been terribly depressed and alone now that I am home by myself and I couldn't find any job that I felt was "up to my standards and experience". Nobody seems to know that but me....I mention it sometimes...silence...okay then i'll go do the dishes. I'm sure it will get better. I've got 9 hours till the ball i'm sure my puffy eyes will look fine.

CRSC

2006-10-10T12:29:00.000-06:00

Combat-Related Special Compensation
Simply put Combat-Related Special Compensation (CRSC) provides military retirees a monthly compensation that replaces their VA disability offset. This means that qualified military retirees with 20 or more years of service that have "combat related" VA-rated disability will no longer have their military retirement pay reduced by the amount of their VA disability compensation...... (read More from Military.Com)

I Blame California

2006-10-08T18:43:00.000-06:00

E Coli is everywhere isn't it? (Ummm I have a very awful explanation for why this keeps happening in cali if you wanna know :) )
So when I can't lose weight because everything that is healthy and that we are told is good for us in this world is causing death, paralysis, kidney failure and god only knows how much more things---Well ya'll I blame California!
It's not me...after all I have always know that processed food is better. The more preservatives it has it's safer for me. After all nothing harmful can actually survive when they cook something for so long (Dinty Moore Stew) and then pump it full of preservatives (Cheetos and Twinkies) that's all we get is pure uncontaminated food. So for all those wondering what's safe to have for dinner tonight...Forget the Salad Bar, Don't even think of eating Subway's fresh ingredients and steer clear of the produce aisle--Instead head over to the frozen food section and pick up some TV Dinner's and know you are giving your family a safe meal tonight.
Pick up some of those Lean Pockets--Veggies galore in those! And once you get done eating all that sodium you will find that you are a bit thirsty. Be Careful though...don't reach for the tap water you never know what critters will bite back when you drink it, instead grab a $1.50 bottle of water on your way out of the store!

A Wasted Saturday

2006-10-07T14:34:00.000-06:00

This morning I got a phone call that woke me up. I didn't get to it in time and was still so sleep groggy I didn't want to call back so I will call back later. But anyway it woke me up...rather early considering what time I went to bed as well. So I made my breakfast, coffee and sat down to check my email. Nothing exciting so I did my normal thing...click on a favorite and keep going from there. Of course I can normally end up 100 million miles away from where I began! Which is what happened. I'm not sure how many times I bring up things that begin with "So the other day I was researching some things online" Okay I really do RESEARCH things online because I have to start typing up the newsletter for my volunteer job.....and I look up a bunch of stupid stuff as well...I mean my latest search list:

NMCB 18
TAMP
Gerbil
Door Moldings
Carpet
Roller Girls
Support Military Families
Cancer
Gerbil Advertising
Jobs That Pay you to do nothing <---Didn't get anything useful in case you are wondering

Okay but enough about that...Anyway I went to my usual boards...realized that sometimes I think about typing something that might be offensive to others so decided against posting anything...and found my way on YouTube. Watched some good video's, one got me to thinking about when Hubby was gone....it was a tribute to Military Wives and part of a poem that was in the video struck home "For those that figured you would remodel the house while they are gone to fill your time....Then realized you didn't know what you were doing and wished you had some help" I just began to picture myself one late night in my bathroom with a sledgehammer beating the vanity up with it because it wouldn't come off the wall. I knew there were screws but I didn't know the damn thing was gorilla glued to the wall as well....and I was almost in tears because I couldn't get it and I knew if hubby was here he would get it off...I dunno it made me laugh.

Oh and the gerbil thing....Does anyone remember the nasty little gerbil commercial from years ago...It looked like a mouse on crack and it used to dance around...I could swear it was for Domino's or something...But anyway that stupid gerbil would freak me out!!! I was looking for it online but since I can't remember who it was for...I can't find it. So if someone can point me in the right direction-most appreciated!

A Friend & A Fleeting Conversation

2006-10-06T19:21:00.000-06:00

Well I got to talk to an "old friend" today for a few minutes...I'm not going to mention names but it was someone that I met on yahoo while my husband was deployed. The last 6 months of his deployment kinda sucked. I was so busy the first 8 months...doing support groups, emails, taking care of everyone else I didn't have time to think about me. Then everyone else came home and the emails stopped, the phone calls stopped, the support groups stopped....All I had to think about was me by myself. I was suffering from insomnia and never slept....so it was great because I could stay up to talk to hubby on the computer and after he had to go work I chatted with "my boys" as hubby called them. Soldiers mainly, a couple marines but all over in the sandbox except for one in Bosnia.

There was one who really helped me survive every day and not be so lonely. I know he probably doesn't know it or even think about it but he really did make my days better....when I would log on I would look and hope he was on. Because he didn't want to talk to me about my breasts or sex or anything like that...he didn't try to impress me (I don't impress easily) he was just there to talk about nothing with...and of course talk about his wife. We talked about his wife and my hubby A LOT LOL

So I was able to talk to him for a few tonight....things didn't go as smoothly as they did for my hubby and dealing with coming back...or maybe mine just doesn't talk about things that much. But it was good to hear that things are going good for him now. It saddens me when I hear about guys having issues when they get back....it shouldn't be that way but I can understand why it is. But he had to go quickly, for now I'm happy for a few minutes with an old friend, even if he is virtual.

Wish I was a Workin Gal

2006-10-06T11:23:00.000-06:00

Well i'm trying to find a job....not as easy as one would expect. Although I am getting quite tired of people saying to me "Oh well you should be able to get a job anywhere!" Like i'm not looking or something. I can get a job anywhere...too bad I am looking for a good paying job, doesn't require weekend work, not downtown, in an office, business casual, involves computer work instead of drinking coffee and sitting on my butt behind an 18 inch steering wheel!

It's funny how once you say you can drive a truck that's all people want to label you as. Ummm did someone forget the 6 years of management, computer, office skills that I have?!?! Don't you see on my resume that I can manage a body shop with my eyes close AND tell you what is wrong with your car?!?! What about my great customer service skills...you know how people call me in when they have to deal with the tricky customers?!?!

Oh yeah I forgot...I have a CDL so i'm a truck driver.....a good truck driver but nonetheless a truck driver...Job hunting sucks. By the way I have a killer resume-

So onto other things....right now I have forwarded my resume onto a staffing agency. They have a great job that I would love to get $13 an hour temp $16 an hour after permanent hire...not quite what i'm used to making but hey all those jobs are taken at the moment!

The guy at Job Service says "What were you making in your last job?" Well the last job I had I was paid by the mile so that is hard to compute...."Okay the last hourly job you had?" Ummmm about $21 per hour....."What is the minimum you will take per hour now?" Rolling my eyes and shuddering I whisper....$10....he said to put down $15. Yeah right...so I guess i'm not actually looking for a job here then! So I humored him....put down $15 and went home and changed it online to a more realistic wage....I could get more than $15 but then only in the field I was in--Autobody. Too bad those jobs are all taken right now.

"Tommy" (not his real name but I must protect the innocent) said my resume was quite impressive and he would keep it near him in case his new hire estimator didn't work out....I'm sure the mortgage company would definately understand our late payment...once I tell them how impressive I am.

It's off to an interview for me....for what job you ask?!? OHHHHhhhhhh I forgot to mention didn't I? Truck driver my dears...what else?

You think your MIL is bad?

2006-10-04T09:57:00.000-06:00

Had I not read this story was from Salt Lake I could have guessed...married in August--Baby due in May--Hmmm gotta love the honeymoon!!
Bride's Parents Charged With Kidnapping
By DEBBIE HUMMEL, Associated Press Writer
1 hour ago

SALT LAKE CITY - A pre-wedding shopping trip for a 21-year-old bride ended with felony charges against her parents, who she says kidnapped her and drove her 240 miles to Colorado, trying to talk her out of the nuptials along the way and holding her until she missed the ceremony.

"I've never had a case quite like this," Utah County Attorney Kay Bryson said Tuesday after charging Lemuel and Julia Redd with second-degree felony kidnapping.

Bryson said he met with the couple's daughter, Julianna, and her now-husband, Perry Myers, before charging the parents. "It is strange that parents would go to that extent to keep an adult daughter from marrying the man that she had chosen to marry," he said.

The Redds told their daughter they were taking her on a shopping trip Aug. 4 and then drove from Provo to Grand Junction, Colo., according to Provo police Capt. Rick Healey. Myers, 23, called police when his bride didn't attend a pre-wedding dinner with his parents that night.

The Redds spent the night in Colorado and drove back to Provo, about 40 miles south of Salt Lake City, the next day, Healey said. They arrived after the young couple was supposed to have been married in a ceremony that day at The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints Temple in Salt Lake City.

"I was totally confused and manipulated," Julianna Myers told KTVX-TV in Salt Lake City. She said she supports the charges and hopes her parents get help.

"They had their concerns, their reasoning," she said. "Honestly I don't understand. It had nothing to do with Perry."

Bryson said after reviewing the police investigation it was clear a crime was committed.

The couple, both students at Brigham Young University, were married in the temple on Aug. 8, Myers said. They are expecting their first child in May.

"We were just glad the way it ended and she just came back and she was OK," Myers said. "We've gone forward since then.

Lemuel Redd, 59, and Julia Redd, 56, were charged Friday and are scheduled to make an initial court appearance Oct. 26. If convicted, they could face one to 15 years in prison.

A call to a listing for Lemuel H. Redd at the address in Monticello, Utah, listed in court documents went unanswered Tuesday. No attorney for the Redds is listed in court documents.

Copyright 2006 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

Who's flying to your bedside?

2006-10-04T00:48:00.000-06:00

There are some conversations you have with your spouse and they don't seem that weird...But I guess it depends on what context you have them in. I have had "weird" conversations with mine that others may not understand unless they have faced the same fears and questions as I have being the "other half" of a dedicated service member....

ME:"Hey Honey...weird question but, if you were to be severly injured and need to be brought to the States or Germany who would you want to be there? Because they will fly 3 people there on the military's dime."

HIM:"Really? I didn't know that...you know more about that than I do I guess...hmmm well I would want you there"

ME:"Well Duh! I'm flying there whether I pay for it or they do...I got a passport and a birth certificate, i'm ready to roll"

HIM:"Unless I can't talk you wouldn't know about it anyway because I have it set up so they aren't suppose to notify you unless I can't speak" <---This is so I don't get a call in the middle of the night letting me know that he's been injured but not getting all the facts and having to sit and worry till he can call me...better to get the story from him than someone else.

ME: "Honey, If i'm flying it's probably pretty serious and you probably won't be able to talk....I mean I think they can manage to fix your ankle or something without me being there pestering them"

HIM:"Well I guess just you, after all Mom wouldn't come if there is blood around" Thinking of the pictures I have seen and the stories I know of...i'm just thinking that she wouldn't be as much help as one would hope.

ME:"Okay well I just wanted to know so if it ever came up I would know how to handle it...I want people there that would make your recovery easier and that you would want to see once you woke up"

I sometimes hate to be this prepared....who do you want to fly to your bedside if you are on the verge...and where do you want to be buried if you die.

A Few Good Things

2006-10-04T00:22:00.000-06:00

So many people say they want to do something for the troops but may not have the time to dedicate to writing letters or sending care packages. Many locations there are tons of packages that get sent but a lot of the time you hear about soldiers/sailors/marines just wishing that their families could have more....

www.ourmilitarykids.org is helping do just that...

"The mission of Our Military Kids, Inc. is to ensure that the children (K thru 12) of deployed and severely injured Reserve and National Guard personnel can afford to participate in activities such as youth sports, fine arts and tutoring programs that are so important in their young lives during this stressful time."

If you know of any sporting deployed or active duty members they can go to this website and get free magazines sent to an APO/FPO address.

Just a couple good things today to pass on. Have a few other things to post but need to get to bed...Job Interview tommarrow!!! Wish me luck!!!

What have you done?

2006-09-30T13:43:00.000-06:00

Simple question Simple answer.

I know what some other people have done.

Coffee Calculations

2006-09-30T13:38:00.000-06:00

Awww the smell of coffee at midnight....an insomniac's world! I bought a coffee pot today at the big "W". $9.97-wow what a bargain....till I made coffee in it. Apparently it is so new and clean that the water just flows through it like....ummmm water. So I am happy that I have my coffeepot and I go to get my nice cup o joe and what should I see...the fact that apparently 1 tsp of creamer is TOO MUCH for this brew!

It appeared I was drinking dirty milk. I upped the coffee allowance per pot---still nothing! I'm up to a 1/2 cup of coffee for each pot and it's still not very strong. Maybe I should have checked out the Folgers Perfect Amount calculator before I began my quest....according to them it's a 1/1 ratio of cups of water and tablespoons of coffee until you get above 4 servings of coffee (serving being 6 oz). Then it gets tricky.....I won't get into the mathematical equations I was doing on the Texas Instruments calculator from my college days BUT according to the perfect amount calculator for 12 servings (My coffee pot says 12 cup capacity....does anyone know if that is CUPS or SERVINGS...because a CUP is 8 oz and they are basing a serving on 6 oz....If I went off the calculator for the perfect amount I would be off if I went by cups instead of servings....oh well doesn't matter) is 12 tbsp. Hmmm 12 tbsp is what? (I should watch Martha more often I suppose)

Awww the wonders of the internet....Measurement Conversion Table shows that 12 tbsp would be 3/4 of a cup. Hmmm so apparently I am lacking coffee. But now why does my 1/8 of a cup say "Coffee Scoop" on it?!? I think it would be easier if my 3/4 cup said it.....I'd much rather use it once than put 6 scoops in...I attempted to see how many cups of coffee were in a container but I couldn't find it...I did find "Gifts in a Jar" when I searched though....hmmmm is that still popular because if so I'm going to Costco to get the ingredients...Christmas is done!

Anyway back to the coffee....If I drink 3 pots of coffee a day and my coffee cup from Iraq is 8 ounces based on above measurements how many days will a container of coffee last? I swear it's Pre Algebra all over again....Screw it I think this is why people pay $3.85 for Starbucks.

Hmmm Sleeping would be good right now

Good Work NMCB 17

2006-09-18T04:20:00.000-06:00

Here is an article regarding some great work that NMCB 17 did in July. Good job Bees!

Navy Seabees work to revive Marine memorial
STORY TOOLS
Email this story Print By Jonathan Garcia, Rocky Mountain News
July 13, 2006
GOLDEN - At the west corner of Colfax Avenue and West 6th Avenue stands a monument to heroism: the Marine Corps Memorial.
It's been there for more than 30 years, an obscure landmark on the urban landscape.

The president of the Marine Corps Memorial Association himself admitted he had never noticed it until he got involved in the group.

That's about to change thanks to a much-needed restoration. A group of Navy Seabees began work on the memorial last Saturday.

It's one of two memorials in the U.S. dedicated by the Marine commandant to all Marines. Built in September 1975, it features insignias of all six Marine divisions and four Marine air wings and a time capsule with Marine mementos and letters from President Gerald Ford and other officials.

The memorial was built on asphalt, which only has a 30-year life span, according to Joe Porter, president of the MCMA.

A division of Seabees from the Naval Mobile Construction Battalion Seventeen will be replacing the asphalt with more durable concrete as well as installing 52 flagpole supports.

MCMA plans on displaying all 50 state flags at the memorial, along with the Marine Corps flag and a 50-foot-high, 10-by-19-foot U.S. flag.

The Seabee battalion also has done construction for the military in Iraq and other places, according to MCMA Secretary Rick Baum.

"These guys are the ones who are operating the bulldozer with one hand and holding a gun with the other," Baum said.

Brad Perot, builder 2nd class, said he was glad he and the other Seabees could help the Marines' memorial.

"I feel very honored," Perot said. "A lot of those people did not come home.

"It's the least I can do."

The Seabees flag will be put under the U.S. flag during and after construction.

Perot said he's sure the giant American flag will bring greater attention to the memorial, which he also admits to never noticing.

Perot said the Seabees should be done with the concrete work by Sunday.

Priorities

2006-09-18T04:08:00.000-06:00

Hubby has always felt that being in the Navy is very important to him. It's not just a thing that he goes to on the weekends. It means something to him and he takes everything very seriously and sometimes the military takes precedence over everything else.....BUT it's good to know that sometimes his choice is different. When asked if he could fly to Battalion next drill weekend because what his job is now is very important and needs a lot of work to get done before they deploy again...He said "I can't Chief...my wife would kill me because the Navy Ball is next month and if I don't take her out on her one night a year that she likes to go out then she would kill me" Damn Straight! Nice to know i'm important sometimes LOL

The End is Always Worse

2006-09-18T03:51:00.000-06:00

Ok hubby and I have decided to switch companies. Actually it's been decided that I will come off the road and not drive anymore and he will haul compressed helium out of Wyoming. I think financially and family wise this is much better. The company we are with had a hard time getting him home for drill weekend when he was driving solo and didn't see it as a big deal or something. But it is a big deal! So that began the downfall of our unhappiness where we are currently. And now of course he has a bigger and better job with Battalion so it's important that he is there every weekend.

So we are making the change. There was a conference at Battalion this weekend (I was suppose to be there but unfortunatly financially I couldn't because one of us had to work :) ) SOOOoooo this is my las load. I'm in Detroit and am going to head to Missouri today. I have to deliver this load and then pick up a load headed to south texas which is routed through the yard. Hubby flew home last night (He called me but I was sleeping and told him I had to be up in a couple hours please call back in the morning LOL) and he is doing his last paperwork stuff with the new company today and then he is driving the Jeep out to pick me and the dogs up in Missouri.

So of course since this is the last week of me driving professionally (probably anyway at least over the road) this has to be the worst week ever! Let's just say Walmart sucks and the paperwork was all screwed up this week and a load that should have lasted like 4 days lasted instead 6. So that load ended up not making me any money. And I get this load. Doesn't pay very well but hey it gets me to the place I need to be to get to the yard.....and at this point i'm just done. DONE! But of course it's downtown ghetto Detroit ("Please do not park overnight this is a high crime area and not safe") Ummm k....and you have to back up from a different street for like a block. Couldn't be easy could it?!? I should have bought another pack of smokes....they say it will be awhile :( Well anyway signing off for now....

Windex & A Yellow Jacket

2006-08-15T01:08:00.000-06:00

Today my daughter wanted "something chocolate" that were the perimeters that I was given around 4 pm. So I ran to the store to look for something that would appease the beast....as I was driving home minding my own business a bee must have snuck down my shirt at some point and stung me...I was driving and reached back because I wasn't sure what actually got me...I could feel it in my back still and tried to pull it loose...well that just apparently pissed it off because it stung me again...and once more for giggles before I was able to jack the car into the driveway really fast and jump out. I ran inside and yelled at my daughter to look and see if it was still stuck to my back...yes it was and so she hit it with a shoe to get it off my back and we preceded to kill it. There it was laying on the floor venom coming out along with what looked like a huge piece of my skin left on it's stinger....a YellowJacketOf course I had no ammonia so I ran around the house looking for something....hunched over in pain as the piercing pain shot through my back....Windex...well at least I have that and so I told her to spray it on my back in hopes it had ENOUGH ammonia in it to help ease the pain a bit....It didn't help....I ended up sitting down on the couch and soon I began to feel odd...my chest got tight, my vision was beginning to blur and I felt dizzy....I went to the store to get some medicine but once I was there I was having difficulty walking and my brain was all fuddered up. I ended up not getting the medicine because I couldn't remember what I went to the store for....eventually went home and spoke to my mom about it and she yelled at me to go to the store again and buy some benedryl. I couldn't see it once I got there and asked the pharmacist to please show me where it was...of course I had been looking right at it and missed it. I took it and within a few minutes began to feel better....I'm wiped out but no longer feel like I am drunk...

I wanted to sleep earlier but I had told my daughter that if I fell asleep and couldn't wake up or looked like I couldn't breathe and gave her the phone to call 911. I was scared that she would freak out and poke me once and whisper "Mom can you wake up?" and I would wake up from my nap to find some EMT standing above me LOL So I am better now....it still hurts like a sucker but no ambulance ride was needed.... It's a pain to be alone and not have a ride to the hospital!

Friendship & Drama

2006-08-14T15:49:00.000-06:00

Go through your phone book, call people and ask them to drive you to the airport. The ones who will drive you are your true friends. The rest aren't bad people; they're just acquaintances.
Jay Leno

So I was thinking the other day as my daughter and I were having a discussion about her "friends". They are so full of drama that if I had that much going on when I was 11 I would never have gotten through 6th grade!! I guess I kinda did....

My best friend was helping take care of her mom who had been hurt when they were driving home from the daycare and were hit by a drunk driver at 5:30 in the afternoon. Her mother had survived after 9 surgeries and had at least been able to walk with crutches short distances. My friend had scars from the surgeries on her back and her shoulder and her hip. She would never run track again or be able to erase the memories of her 5 year old brother who never made it out of the car. I suppose drama is all in how you look at it.

My daughter can't seem to be friends for more than a day with certain girls she knows. It's just so much work for them. Someone is always emailing someone else and saying they are so and so and that so and so doesnt like you anymore...blah blah blah. "I hate you..... I'm sorry" the emails go back and forth. My daughter reported one as spam and now wishes that she could get emails from her....*sigh* They will invite one another to go to the movies and then wait there for 3 hours and the other person doesn't show up. How is this normal? Why does this happen? Because they are too young....and care too much about whether they have someone they can refer to as their friend.....

See i'm an adult. I do the adult thing. I delete your number out of my phone. It's simple! I don't have an address book that I write things down in....I should considering I found my cell phone once at the bottom of the washing machine and somehow it had stopped saving numbers on the sim card and was saving it to the phone anyway...So if you haven't gotten a call from me in 2 years you might want to try to call! Of course if you were deleted then I just won't click "save" again :) But anyway do you think it's because i'm too old for drama....or too lazy?

I'll go with lazy....it's easier to say that than I'm old (Going to be 30 in March....awww i'm ancient LOL) I try too hard sometimes to be someone's friend I think....I always seem to be making an effort then I begin to think that it's not worth it.....after all friendship shouldn't be that hard. It should just flow....you have things in comman then you figure out you like to hang out. Maybe hanging out is just being with someone! When i'm by myself on the truck and if I don't talk to my hubby sometimes I can go more than a day without having a conversation with someone.....But I can't change that....I have very few friends. Once again it goes back to drama....I meant laziness!

When hubby was gone I had a friend....we did lots of stuff together. He was great I loved spending time with him and some even teased me that I had a "fill in" without the benefits. It didn't matter if we were out at a party, a bar, the movies or just eating chinease at my house. He actually helped me rip out my vanity in my bathroom when I was remodeling!! Now a real friend will come over when you have sweat dripping down your paint covered hair and your face is streaked with dirt because you have been working on the house all day and give himself a hernia trying to pry loose a vanity from 1979!

Then he pissed me off a party...I thought he did something inappropriate once....it had nothing to do with me really except that I didn't think he was respectful of our friendship.....like when you are visiting with a friend at lunch or something and they spend half their time on the cell phone while you are looking around trying to ease drop on other people because you have nothing else to do. I actually gave him a second chance...which is odd for me but I did....then he made a big deal about taking me out for my birthday.... and skipped out to help another "friend". So I was all dressed up to go out and nowhere to go....I didn't even have anyone else I could call....So I stopped calling...or I was "busy" when actually I didn't leave the house for days and even a week at a time except to the store. I had the best social life ever even if it was non existent!

So the drama was too much for me....I'm lazy remember? I'm a social retard sometimes I think LOL But that's okay....Am I saving my daughter from heartache when I tell her that friends like her's aren't worth it? Or am I forcing her to live like me....with nobody to pick her up at the airport?

Smokin Hot

2006-07-27T11:29:00.000-06:00
Today I weighed in....8 pounds lost so far. Now mind you some of it might be water weight but you know those 8 pounds have been on for almost 5 months. SOoooo i'm not overly concerned that they are gone no matter how they left! I'm going to walk tonight, I've been trying to convince myself that all the housework I have done has been exercise enough but I want to actually be doing something. Maybe I will pull out my new workout tape...Carmen Electra's Strip Aerobics! Hubby didn't mind spending the money on it LOL He's hoping it will teach me some new skills....what he doesn't know is I have those skills allready just don't use them near enough LOL

I haven't gotten near enough organizing done but hubby says that if I don't want to come back on the truck mid August when he comes home for drill that I don't have to. Which is nice...I may stay a bit longer really depends on the money situation but I would like to stay and spend more time with my daughter so we shall see....

I am drinking very nasty coffee out of my new coffee cup from Disneyland. It's really the only souvenir I have from there....I did buy a tank top which is really cute but I need to make sure what bra I wear with it because the material is very thin and shows a lot hugs every area...of course I figured this out after speaking with the neighbor and the contractor who his doing our retaining wall! Hubby joked that maybe we will get a discount from the contractor! LOL

I got called "smokin hot" due to a picture that I had taken a bit ago yesterday. That was nice... I always am "sexy" according to hubby but sometimes it's nice when it becomes an out of the blue incident rather than and everyday occurance. I will feel much better once I lose 20 pounds....then I will feel smokin hot. Maybe by drill weekend I will be closer.

I should go and lay outside and get a tan a bit today. I need a tan....on the rest of my body but I refuse to pay for it this year. We shall see if I can get it for free.....Well gotta go mow the lawn before the code enforcement guy gets called because our lawn is too long. Awww I love our neighbors!!!

Tommarrow is a Brand New Day

2006-07-23T22:52:00.000-06:00
I am currently at home by the way and dear hubby is on the road turning out the miles and adding money to our bank account (I hope he is at least!! Because all i'm doing is taking it out!!!) I've been home for a week now. Happily vacationing with my daughter. We spent a very nice 4 days at Disneyland and "swam in the pool everyday except one" <----- She tells that to everyone who asks what she did LOL I have been terrible at this whole blogging thing since hubby came home but then I haven't been able to devote anytime to myself much and this would be considered one of those "taking time to do something for yourself and enjoy the moment's" I dropped my daughter back off at my mom's because she has to practice riding her horse for Fair which starts on Sunday. We have to take everything to the fairgrounds to get ready for it on Saturday though so i'm driving back there on Friday morning. I have taken a month off to spend time with her but also to get things done at the house so I had to come back for a few days and get SOMETHING accomplished here....even if it is the dishes LOL It's 12:01 now so I guess it's my brand new day.
I start my diet in the morning. I've been thinking about it for a long time and of course have needed to do it for even longer. I have gained so much weight the last 9 months due to busy life and stress and everything else (truck stop food I think is a main culprit and lack of exercise) that I need to do something I can't handle myself anymore! So we shall see but everything points to that this will work. I'm not going to mention it till I actually lose some weight but wish me luck! I've got to get now and do the dishes!

Fireflies

2006-04-27T21:27:00.000-06:00
I forgot...Fireflies are so neat....I went for a little walk to get some air out of the truck and at first they were like scared or something I dunno and then all of a sudden I was standing there and saw a flash of light...you almost think that you imagined it...then there are more and more all around you surrounding you with twinkling light...It's like you are standing in the middle of the universe and walking through the stars. That's one of the coolest things about the south...fireflies. Just like a woman to think the whole universe surrounds her :)

Headed West

2006-04-27T21:01:00.000-06:00
Well i'm headed west at the moment. Right now i'm at a shitty little service area on the Oklahoma turnpike between Tulsa and Oklahoma City supposedly taking my 10 hours in the sleeper...I gotta be in "Amarillo by morning" but due to my tiredness lastnight and I shut off the alarm and apparently fell asleep with the phone still in my hand (my cell is my alarm) I didn't leave Indiana when I wanted to....I left about 5 hours late. Sooooo needless to say it's been a long day and will be another one tommarrow. But it's an open appointment time which means I am just going to drop my trailer off and hook up to an empty and I just have to be there by 2359 tommarrow night. I just wanted to get there early so I could pick up my other load early and then get on my way up to Utah. But as it works out anyway I am only able to get there and drop my load and then drive to get my new load and go to sleep till the next day....running a little low on my hours. Which sucks because it will be a harder drive to Utah because I will have to only drive the hours I have each day I have no cushion left.

I've done okay this time by myself. It's been rather lonely with nobody to really talk to. My daughter each time I call doesn't seem to want to talk to me....she's busy--you know watching TV or playing with her "stack and sort cups" she's very good at that. But I ended up hanging up the phone tonight in tears which is my own fault....I started to get a bit angry with her because she wasn't talking and seemed to not want to...I said "are you busy or what because you aren't talking" she said "I am busy" I told her fine I would let her get back to whatever she was doing. It's not right for me to take my guilt out on her I suppose. But she doesn't udnerstand how upset I am right now and how badly I wish I was home with her and had a normal life again. How much I miss her everyday and I just wish I could be with her watching her do all the things that she does everyday. I hate this choice I have made. I feel like everyday I can't change things. When I told hubby that I missed her and that I was thinking maybe this isn't what I want to do anymore he got mad at me and started being rude and pissy. If I go home I am afraid that we won't make it. Never seeing each other and all that.

I guess what upsets me a bit is that he expects me to be out here all the time and doesn't see things and see how much drama I have going on in my heart every second. I thought I could do it...but I don't think that I can, being away from my daughter. Probably would be different if it was like we talked about....but we talked about me coming home for a couple weeks at a time.... as it stands I haven't been home in months. I have been able to stop for 3 times since february but it tears me up to leave again. The truth of the matter is that I was once happy doing this...but I don't think I am now. He drove truck while he was married to his ex wife...she stayed home with the kids....and I guess that maybe I feel like I am the one that has given up so much to be with him.....and that I don't get the same courtesy. Me staying home with her just doens't seem to be an option in his heart. We talked about it but we do that a lot...and when we talk abotu stuff I feel like that is all it is...talk...no action. Maybe one day it's going to be me saying this is the way it is going to be or not...I dunno...my heart is torn and I just wish that he could listen and see where I am coming from sometimes.....He said maybe we shouldn't have started driving after he got back so soon together because we are both used to living solitary lives since he was gone for 14 months.....I don't think that is it...He said this after us having a shitty week because I was extremly upset because he barely spoke to me and it had been 5 days since he said I love you....I figured out while he was gone and thought about getting the visit you never want to get that if you love someone you always make sure they know just in case....Somedays I feel that the man who used to make me feel so loved and sexy is too busy to do that anymore....When I was upset he used to try to find out why. Now he just doesn't ask. I'm not sure what I want to do career wise...but he gets mad when I say maybe not driving....we are all entitled to change our minds....he did. Without even asking what I thought...just decided that he was going to do something and that was that no talking about it ....I actually had to sit and grill him about it to find out.

I guess we will see after this summer.....I'm not sure what will happen...Maybe I will be on the truck and maybe I won't I dunno. Maybe i'm just having a moment right now...so much for stopping smoking :)

Bizarro World

2006-04-19T21:05:00.001-06:00
Seinfield had an episode with the Bizarro world...where everything you know is right is the same but different....That's how I feel right now at this moment! I am currently sitting in Kentucky--Berea Kentucky to be exact...exit 76 on I75. I found a truck stop to park at..I saw in the truck stop directory it had a 24 hour restaurant...that's fantastic! Wrong again sherlock--it has a restuarant next door that you have to walk through the chain link and barbed wire fence to get to but they close at 9 pm...due to the fact that they are still working off their "Winter Hours" Now seriously what restuarant in a smallish town surrounded by businesses has "Winter Hours" it's not like they are in a resort community...well okay the Kentucky Music Hall of Fame is here. Hmmmm.....maybe that is a resort community! Okay seriously truck stops (older ones) are not always in the nicest neighborhoods...this one is a rather seedy old school area. I walk into the building to see if they had anything to eat....they didn't really besides some nasty looking little debbie snacks but I got an interesting drink...it's a "Concord Grape Soda" called MR FROSTIE and it's got a picture of Santa Claus on it LOL So I'm sitting here typing with the wonderful smell of urine wafting up through my drivers window as I sip my Mr Frostie drink (est 1939) wishing I had something for dinner listening to Michael Savage. But I should get back to what I was saying...I walk into the truck stop (using that term LOOSELY!) and there were actually quite a few people in there...of course there was the smoke screen you couldn't even see through as I struggle to the bathroom....the bathroom was pretty much what I expected. Although the small hotel (yes it was from a hotel because you could see the imprint still a little bit) bar of soap that served to wash your hands was not what I thought would be a good substitute for actual hand washing! I decided to use a santizing cloth when I got out to the truck. Coming out of the bathroom I noticed that the woman working there had brought her 7 year old son to work with her...which is nice to spend time with your children. Of course she was keeping him busy by giving him money to put into the Keno Machine. I'm sure it's a skill that he will use later on in life...but unfortunately she wasn't telling him that Keno is a House game! I'm going to go to the Super Walmart in the morning and pick up some things for the truck...gotta get snacks so I can loose my big butt that i've gained since hubby came home! I don't think I could ever truly describe this sad little truck stop....but apparently it's a gathering place because it is almost midnight here on a Wednesday and there are still 10 cars parked in front--playing keno most likely. It's off to bed for me gotta figure out when I need to leave so I can make it to my destination in time for tommarrow. I'm still trucking and will try to find interesting things to write about :)

Bizarro World

2006-04-19T21:05:00.000-06:00
Seinfield had an episode with the Bizarro world...where everything you know is right is the same but different....That's how I feel right now at this moment! I am currently sitting in Kentucky--Berea Kentucky to be exact...exit 76 on I75. I found a truck stop to park at..I saw in the truck stop directory it had a 24 hour restaurant...that's fantastic! Wrong again sherlock--it has a restuarant next door that you have to walk through the chain link and barbed wire fence to get to but they close at 9 pm...due to the fact that they are still working off their "Winter Hours" Now seriously what restuarant in a smallish town surrounded by businesses has "Winter Hours" it's not like they are in a resort community...well okay the Kentucky Music Hall of Fame is here. Hmmmm.....maybe that is a resort community! Okay seriously truck stops (older ones) are not always in the nicest neighborhoods...this one is a rather seedy old school area. I walk into the building to see if they had anything to eat....they didn't really besides some nasty looking little debbie snacks but I got an interesting drink...it's a "Concord Grape Soda" called MR FROSTIE and it's got a picture of Santa Claus on it LOL So I'm sitting here typing with the wonderful smell of urine wafting up through my drivers window as I sip my Mr Frostie drink (est 1939) wishing I had something for dinner listening to Michael Savage. But I should get back to what I was saying...I walk into the truck stop (using that term LOOSELY!) and there were actually quite a few people in there...of course there was the smoke screen you couldn't even see through as I struggle to the bathroom....the bathroom was pretty much what I expected. Although the small hotel (yes it was from a hotel because you could see the imprint still a little bit) bar of soap that served to wash your hands was not what I thought would be a good substitute for actual hand washing! I decided to use a santizing cloth when I got out to the truck. Coming out of the bathroom I noticed that the woman working there had brought her 7 year old son to work with her...which is nice to spend time with your children. Of course she was keeping him busy by giving him money to put into the Keno Machine. I'm sure it's a skill that he will use later on in life...but unfortunately she wasn't telling him that Keno is a House game! I'm going to go to the Super Walmart in the morning and pick up some things for the truck...gotta get snacks so I can loose my big butt that i've gained since hubby came home! I don't think I could ever truly describe this sad little truck stop....but apparently it's a gathering place because it is almost midnight here on a Wednesday and there are still 10 cars parked in front--playing keno most likely. It's off to bed for me gotta figure out when I need to leave so I can make it to my destination in time for tommarrow. I'm still trucking and will try to find interesting things to write about :)

My Absence

2006-04-19T20:54:00.000-06:00
Wow I didn't realize it had been this long since I updated this....I have been through a lot since then. Some of it little things...some of it bigger things. Of course some days the little things seem a lot bigger! Hubby is gone...again. I'm by myself on the truck....again. It seems like it's been like this forever. But just a week and half and he will be back and hopefully things will change. He's been busy having to go home for the Navy and he went to see his son in Denver for a week last month. It's hard for me because being out here alone as much as I have since January is somedays very difficult. Physically and mentally. Right now my mom and daughter and step dad are in Pennsylvania at the moment because my step dad's mother is very ill so they drove out there to see her. Hubby is gone to China Lake and unable to communicate with me so it's been a very lonely few days. Besides the usual "Thanks for my fuel ticket" and "Have a nice day" I have spent 3 days and only talked to someone 2 times. Right now I miss being home, I think of all the things I could be doing...weeding my flowers, taking my evening walk, doing the dishes, painting the walls....I could go on and on! Sometimes I drive and I see people coming home from the grocery store with the car loaded with groceries and I miss that. Or I see someone with their child and it absolutely breaks my heart not seeing my own daughter. I have been able to stop by for a few hours a couple times....but if the truck doesn't move it still costs us money so someone has to keep it moving. I was off the truck for 2 weeks in February due to my cousin's death. I won't talk about that for now...i'm not sure if I will ever have any thoughts on his suicide that are worth putting down and sharing...except that it's senseless and a waste. But life has gotten me down a bit and haven't felt like typing anything. I think that will change...it's good to have an outlet! Will post again soon....with things that are a bit lighter !

Grumpier Old Woman

2006-01-09T13:33:00.000-07:00
For some reason the last couple of days I have just been grumpy. Maybe it's knowing that we didn't get very many miles this week to turn in so next weeks paycheck will be small. Maybe it's that they had us drive 800 miles empty and gave us 3 days to do it and that makes for a very boring time. I'm not sure....poor hubby (half the time because the other half he deserves it!) I have been grumpy with him. Maybe it's that normally I take every emotion I have out on people and get it out rather than letting it fester inside of me so I get grumpy LOL Who knows. Right now we are headed from Chicao to Sacramento to drop off this load so we can get hubby back home on Thursday or Friday for drill this weekend. It will be his first time back since he came home from the sandbox. We had his patches for his uniform that we were suppose to sew on by now showing First Class but of course SOMEHOW in our truck it gets lost....he swears they are somewhere but we can't find them and lord only knows where in this 8 foot sleeper area they could be LOL So he will have to figure out how to get it sewed on so he's the correct rank by Saturday Morning. I am going to take the truck on rather than take time off because I have to stay home during Valentine's Day because my parents are going on vacation and so I will be driving by myself for a few days....I'm not worried...After all half the time I get free meals because drivers are so sweet LOL J/K Kinda....

A Truck Driver Nap

2006-01-02T07:53:00.000-07:00
Hubby and I got home (which we are now and that is why I am publishing some of these posts that I haven't had a chance to put up yet) and we got some chinese food (okay it's Panda Express but nobody delivers to our area anymore that we like their food) and then we thought we would lay down for a short nap because I had only 4 hours of sleep after driving and being up for a total of 26 and he had been up and driving for about 10 hours and hadn't slept that much before that. So we lay down and figured afterwards we would get up and do some house cleaning and other things we needed....well we lay down....and 10 hours later we wake up LOL Damn now it's 3 am!!!! Great so now we are totally off on our sleep...of course had we kept driving he would have been on schedule but I would have just been going to bed....But we got lots done...nothing on TV but we ate some chinese (we got extra because you have to have leftover chinese to eat later) and I got all my printing and stuff done off the computer I wanted to get done and cleaned the kitchen...yikes living room next! The house is a mess because when we left to go drive we left 2 days before we thought we were going to and tore through the house gathering up everything we needed and haven't really had any time at home since then to clean up our mess. So it's off to fold laundry and mop the wood floors for me I guess!

Florida Rest Areas

2006-01-02T07:46:00.000-07:00
Florida has the nicest rest areas....very clean! We happened to stop at the same rest area 2 times in one day....this is a rarity but it was because we delivered near it, had to stop for a conference call I had for the Navy, drove down the road and picked up a load near by then drove back to the rest area to let the dog out but that's not the point to this post. They were cleaning it both times we were there!!

But they also have security which patrols at night...which is very nice...especially for myself because I have the bathroom flashlight that I take with me (I used to take the leatherman pocket knife that hubby had but now we have the flashlight) because when I was driving years ago by myself there was some "incidents" that caused me to restict my use of rest areas at night if I can help it. I'm not sure if they (the FL DOT) care about the people at the rest area so much that they put the security there or the crime is so HIGH that it is a public need. I like to think people care!

Question regarding florida if someone can answer it for me though. One of those things you wonder as you drive along....the exits are soooooo far apart in some areas near Tampa...is this because they spread the exits out or the towns are spread out because there is so much land that is non developable or because the government owns a lot of the land and that is why there is no building on it? I wasn't sure if it had something to do with wetland preservation or maybe it just wasn't able to be built on because of the wetlands and couldn't sustain a community. Just a thought that came across my mind as I was driving...this happens a lot and maybe I remember to write them down...some are quite interesting...and some are not!

Fire & Lust Books

2006-01-02T07:29:00.000-07:00
When I was younger I read every book I could find. Now i'm not talking about being like 8 but when I was older I started reading Romance novels. Just mainly because I had read every book in the juvenile section of the library and they were the biggest books I could find in the paperback section. I would read about 1200 pages a night (*6 hours*) so one day I decided I would write a book. My grandma (*who I absolutely adored and was my best friend, mentor and the person who believed in me 100% unconditionally*) was going to help me. But she always referred to Romance books (*she read them herself*) as Fire and Lust Books because she said only the good ones had a half naked man in tight breeches, a woman with a tight dress with a low bodice and a billowy skirt and the either the word Fire or Lust in the title! So *sigh* I never ended up writing my Fire and Lust book....but I continued to read them until the time that I found other things to occupy my time.....

Well the other day I saw a book on tape (*because we are driving it's the only way I can get to "read" a book*) called "Tin Angel" and it was 10.5 hours long which would get me through a driving shift and sounded interesting. So I rented it...started listening to it while my daughter and I were driving through Pennsylvania, Ohio, Indiana. It got to be very interesting and as I was driving sometimes I drift off and I hear it but I don't really hear it...I get absorbed into the story....suddenly I realized that this book on tape was NOT PG13!!!! It was definately a "fire and lust book" and there was a LOT of FIRE and a lot of LUST in some of these scenes. Now it was definately tastefully written but NOT for a 10 year old to listen to. I'm a big one to push for you to talk to your children about sex and educate them on such things because otherwise they will learn about it some other way...but the lessons this book on tape was giving was NOT the ones that she needed to learn! So I turned it off for awhile till she went to bed...of course hubby was in the back in the sleeper trying to go to sleep but the story (*which it was a very good story and a great read for anyone who didn't mind the sex scenes in it and it definately sucks you in to the story*) sucked him in and he was like "CHANGE THE DISK...COME ON WHERE"S THE REST OF THE STORY?!?!" So we ended up finishing the story once my daughter was off the truck and we listened to the last couple of hours while he drove from Wyoming down to Salt Lake where we live. Maybe one day I will write my Fire and Lust book and dedicate it to my grandmother...With a heroine that looks like her from the younger days with red hair and a billowing dress and of course her dark ruggedly handsome man with tight breeches on the front!

Southern Traditions

2006-01-02T07:17:00.000-07:00
Okay i'm all for traditional food...i love grits, sweet tea, pecan pie and trying other traditional food from all over the country. Well NOT Rocky mountain oysters but hey I tried them once and that was enough! But we stepped into a gas station and i'm looking around for a snack down in Georgia/Florida area. I opened up a pot of "something" since I wasn't sure what it was although it advertised "A Southern Tradition". Hmmmm how to describe it....I thought as I looked down into the pot that it looked as if someone scraped the bottom of the sewer drain and added water and then put it on a steam tray to keep it warm...and it smelled even worse than that. It burnt my nose and then made me actually catch myself as I almost jumped back and threw the lid. I swear the smell stayed with me and I contemplated sticking my head in the toilet to wash off the stench. When I smell tequila (*i drank a little too much when I was younger so now I can't stand it*) it gives me the shivers up my back and this did the same thing but gave me the full body tremor's. What is it that caused me to lose my appetite and wish I had never lifted the lid to this pot of horrors?!?! BOILED PEANUTS! Now i'm not saying that they are disgusting...perhaps this place just let them sit for too long...or maybe they ARE this disgusting but MY GOD never have I been so disgusted in my life! The key to dieting....keep a pot of boiled peanuts going in the kitchen! The sign advertised "Picked green and quickly boiled to ensure the best green peanut taste"....apparently I'm not a fan of "green peanut taste" nor of this "Wonderful Southern Tradition". I will stick to the grits I guess....as I turned to the right to find something that might make me forget the look and smell of the Boiled Peanuts I ran into "Fried Chitlins (sp?) with SKIN STILL ATTACHED! now i love the pork rinds but now that I have seen deep fried pig skin...I'm rethinking the pork rinds. Needless to say I walked out with coffee and no snacks (300 calories saved for the day!)

3's Company

2006-01-02T07:10:00.000-07:00
Well we are now sitting at home because we have a load that doesn't deliver till Tuesday in Reno and we live about 500 miles from there and ended up coming through the house. We were lucky enough to be able to have my daughter on the truck with us from the 27th-1st of January. It was great and she loved it. Although my mother will probably be cursing me because her sleep schedule is all messed up now! She was awake till about midnight or 1am and then sleeping till noon on the truck! LOL She stayed up with me while I drove and played video games on the laptop or listened to books on tape (She said she hated them but once we started listening to one that she found interesting she was telling Dad what it was all about when he woke up LOL) It was a bit more crowded than it usually is with just me, hubby and our dog but it was worth it to be able to spend time with her.

Christmas was great although we did get more money than presents because most people did not know what to get us LOL After all last year and the year before it was mainly just house remodel stuff....now it's stuff for the truck that we want. Which is fine because money always helps out with some of the big ticket items we want to purchase. We didn't get to see his son though which is sad...we have yet to see him because it's so hard to "schedule" time with his mother...but then I won't get into talking about her at this time! I hope everyone that reads this is doing good and I am headed to Reno...My mother said to put 50 cents in a slot machine for her...too bad it will be my 50 cents that wins and not her's LOL

My new ring

2005-12-15T12:14:00.000-07:00

4 years ago I got an engagement ring for christmas. Now this year I got a NEW ring for christmas. Since I lost my other one :( This ring is amazing!! It was the one I wanted and dearest hubby said I could have it. It was a little more than I really thought about spending but it's so pretty. 2 carats!! I'm still trying to get used to it. It's very sparkly LOL I've put a picture up of my new ring. It's the same thing except we got it in white gold not yellow gold as the picture shows. I am very lucky to have a man that loves me enough not to buy me a new ring but the kind of man that looks at me and says that I can get whatever I want....that I can be selfish for once because I never am. It has the two bands and one is the 3 stone past present and future band....I think that was very fitting for us since it's not an engagement ring and then wedding band but it represents our past that we have shared, our present that we are enjoying and of course our future.

He was so funny though because after we bought it and such he looked at me and said Okay now i'm getting a drink, you get a ring and I get an Orange Julius!!

One Meal At a Time

2005-12-15T12:07:00.000-07:00
I have started a diet lately. I had lost about 20 pounds or so when my dearest hubby was gone but when he came back and I was trying to feed him everything he missed and of course stress eating I gained it back...and I think a couple pounds!! So I have started a diet. It's from Readers Digest called One Change or something similiar. It's pretty simple it has a normal eating pattern and normal food but more about portion and eating healthy. Also you make one change a week. For example this week it's about breakfasts...so I have been eating breakfasts according to the plan and you don't change anything else but that this week. Concentrate on it and eat regularly the rest of the time. So I have been VERY GOOD and of course getting much better at taking my meds so hopefully it will go well!! Next week it's lunch....so I eat the same breakfasts that I have been eating but now I adjust lunch. I think it's great and really easy. Will keep you all updated since now I have my new fancy laptop, new cingular wireless connection and it's all doing good!!!

New Laptop

2005-12-15T12:03:00.000-07:00
I thought for sure I was going to go crazy. Our laptop broke and of course was very very stressful for me. I couldn't send out an email to have a conference call for the Navy, couldn't check my email, bank account, NOTHING!!! It was horrible. So we went and bought a new laptop. That HP can be used for target practice for all I care...Well okay as soon as we get the stuff off the hard drive. It was the same problem that we had before when I replaced the motherboard which took almost a month and cost me like $600. Well hubby and I talked about it and thought it might be best to just look at getting a new laptop. So we found one at Circuit City the other day. The shipper was going to take 4-6 hours to load our trailer so we decided to go and check out the stores and see if we could find one. We did. It's pretty small but that is a good thing for what we do. It's also very light and wasn't that expensive. I like it though because it's very convient to take into the truck stops when we eat so that way we can check the emails.
When we went in and looked at them and saw the one we wanted it was a little disheartening that we were standing there and nobody was asking if they could help us. So finally I went up and found a mgr type and said I wanted to buy this laptop. I hope those other people don't work on commission. We bought the advantage plan so they will do an accidental replacement should we drop or damage or break this one. But also will fix it for 2 years free. Even replace the batteries. But when we bought it the cashier rang it up and said "how will you be paying for it?" Hubby smiled and said "Will green do?" LOL He pulled out $1200 in $20 bills. We took the money out of the ATM LOL But anyway now that I have my super little laptop I will be writing more hopefully.

Totally Committed

2005-11-12T22:35:00.000-07:00
Okay I was driving through Fort Worth the other night and figured out one thing in life…You must be TOTALLY COMMITTED in the choices you make. Especially if one of those choices is to pull out in front of a Semi Truck who is going 55 mph and you are NOT! There was this group of 3 cars getting on the on ramp and traffic was pretty bad. Imagine Fort Worth on a Friday night at rush hour and you have my world…..Now make your car like 70 feet long! So the first car speeds up and gets in the lane in a hurry and is gone. Great I had slowed down a bit but was surrounded by cars and couldn’t move out of their way which I would normally do of course. So I slow down a bit and put on the jake brakes and the regular break to see what the Saturn was going to do. The stupid car speeds up, great wonderful I don’t care I start to back off…but wait now the driver slows down! We are quickly running out of on ramp room and this car is still trying to merge where there is no merge left and is now headed into my tire….Speed up!! The driver speeds up a little then slows back down. Well by this time (all of this is happening in like 5 seconds of course) they speed up again! I slam on my brakes the dog goes flying into the back of my seat. Hubby’s hand reaches out to the dash board and god only knows what happened to the freight I have in the trailer and I’m actually surprised that the car behind me wasn’t getting a dash full of ICC bumper. I’m cussing and trying to downshift and just thinking to myself….what an idiot!

Moral to the story….if you are going to make the choice to pull out in front of a semi truck. Be totally committed and just go for it. Don’t waste time being wishy washy about it. Do it and be done with it. I am the first one to give someone driving a car the right of way but if I give you a hole and you don’t take it when it’s available you are lucky if I give you a second chance. You will also be lucky that you aren’t seriously hurt. After all my truck takes a lot longer to stop and does a lot more damage than your plastic unibody Saturn that is for sure!

Midnight Ramblings

2005-11-12T22:21:00.000-07:00
These last couple of weeks have gone by sooo fast it’s unbelievable. I have cards for Veterans Day that I have yet to mail. They will go out on Monday. We have crisscrossed the country, had our truck in the shop for a broken fifth wheel and are just now getting home to get the rest of our things. When we left we couldn’t fit all our stuff or “comforts” in the rental car so we had to leave some things at home…looking forward to our coffee pot and microwave! We splurged and bought a real fridge ($570) but it is SOOOOO worth it!! Unbelievably worth it!!! We are able to keep meat and salad stuff in it and it’s great to have not just cold water but frozen water. It is similar to what you would see in a camper or something. But it is great for when you are stuck at a shipper or receiver and would be sitting there for 6 hours eating out of the vending machine….I made a chef salad last time that happened. It was twice as good as the one we paid $5.99 for at the Waffle House the day before!!

We are currently in Wyoming visiting our daughter and we are under a load to Utah for Monday so we are going home tomorrow to pack up the rest of our stuff so we are ready to go on Monday. I think I will end up running some errands during the day on Monday while he goes and unloads then he can pick me up when he is done. I am working on a couple posts about some of the stuff we have seen etc but right now they aren’t ready to post yet. I need to get to bed today was very tiring. I got woken up early by hubby because we went through some bad weather between Denver and Wyoming. Wind was blowing pretty bad and had rolled over 3 semi’s in a short distance. So it was time for me to put my clothes back on and get in the front seat as well. If you are going over it’s best if you are awake and in a seat belted in than flying around in the sleeper (naked LOL). It’s getting to be that time of year though. Our choices to get to Utah were I70 (chain law which means it is very bad and no way am I slinging chains in the snow!!) or I80 (high winds, slick roads, blowing snow…did I mention HIGH WINDS!?!?) so we chose I80 and of course to see Pip’s as well! Hubby has been asleep for a few hours I think it’s time to go join him. Update laters!!

Just A Test

2005-11-02T21:46:00.000-07:00
Just wanted to try out this blogging with Microsoft Word. Right now we are in Kingman AZ headed to California. We left Missouri yesterday late afternoon. Had hoped to deliver tonight around midnight in California but they wouldn’t take it so that means we have to hang out till the afternoon to unload which will suck because we will loose a day waiting. Need to get home to get the rest of our stuff because we didn’t take it when we took the rental to Seattle to recover a truck for the company right out of orientation. With this it’s nice because I can type the messages while I am sitting in the truck then when we get to the truckstop with the wireless I can connect and upload! Just wanted to test nothing really to say. It’s been a week and I’m already tired of truckstop food LOL

I'm Back

2005-10-31T13:51:00.000-07:00
Okay finally we have email access again! There has been so much going on the last week it is pure crazyness! Will update more later just wanted to let everyone know we were alive and kickin it...right now we are in Missouri picking up our brandnew truck. It's dark grey very nice and fancy.

Too Little Sleep Too Many Thoughts

2005-10-22T08:59:00.000-06:00
I can't sleep lately...NO that is not a new thing. I spent 14 months living on coffee, cigarettes and saw every infomercial they have made (I seriously needed cable!) but even now I am having issues sleeping. I toss and turn and keep waking up thinking I need to go back to sleep till it as least light outside! When hubby first came home he was the one that was sitting in bed waiting for me to wake up because it was 430 in the morning. Now i'm the one getting up trying not to wake him up.

You know, sliding down the bed so my head is halfway down and my legs are sticking out the covers, trying to turn and slide off the bed so it doesn't move now that I have finally gotten out from underneath his arm. So each morning it's this prized move where you almost want to do a big cheer because you have now contorted your body and used every muscle to steady yourself as you perform some 13 year old's gymnastic move! And you turn around and see them laying there...still asleep and try to sneak out of the room.

Too much to do and not enough time I suppose! I have to do emails this morning. I have to come up with an agenda for a conference call next Saturday. I struggle with this because each time I try to talk about certain things SOMEONE (i'm not going to name names here!) thinks that we should take it slowly and concentrate on doing nothing and "figuring out the future of the ombudsman program" and not move forward in it. I have great ideas and such about presentations to give every other month to the detachments, newsletter, email lists etc. But no i'm met with someone's idea of "military planning" and instead we spend our time trying to figure out how we are going to figure out what we are going to do....seems like a waste of time for me! And he interrupts me as well! Like i'm giving people too much to think about! I don't need 8 planning meetings to get this program rolling, that's why they put me in the position that they did!

Oh well i'm complaining! Hubby is up...appears he knew I was gone because my shadow (my little min pin) got out of bed and she's not as sneaky as I am trying to get out from underneath the covers! It's off to emailing!

On the Road Again

2005-10-20T20:23:00.000-06:00
It's official...I'm once again a long haul truck driver...Scarey huh? Not that scarey, no sweat pants and flip flops for me though. Okay maybe the flip flops but I'm a girl and I can wear flip flops. Besides how else to show off my pedicure right? Monday we start orientation and by this time next week we will have our new truck. It took some footwork since the company didn't want to give my hubby any credit for the driving he did in Iraq/Kuwait but we got that all taken care of (Thank you MasterChief!! )They wanted to put us in seperate trucks for 20,000 miles (which correlates to about 4 weeks or 5) and I was like...Yeah F#&%ing right! So after convincing them I was right and they were wrong (It's a gift!) We are going to be leasing our own truck.

I'm ready...I guess...sound confident don't I? I'm a little scared because I have gotten so used to my "life" here and now it's being turned upside down...I had a schedule, routines (no matter how boring) and a simple go to the grocery store kind of life....now it's going to be different. Can't wait though I like to think of it as an adventure. Will be posting from the road and you can read all about my "adventures".

Going on the SouthBeach diet too so hopefully that goes well. I got hubby to keep me motivated now...and to get lots of "exercise...or did I say sexercise" in LOL

Marsha Marsha Marsha!

2005-10-13T00:21:00.000-06:00
My hubby and I were having a funny conversation with our friends Saturday night about the Brady Bunch episode where Marsha gets hit in the face with the football as she gets ready for the big school dance....we laughed and laughed! Gotta love old TV reruns!

So life has a funny way of turning the tables on you...about a month ago or less I bought a new dress for The Navy Ball which is a formal event held every year. It's a great time...dinner, dancing, drinking with a bunch of sailors! But I get a new dress each year...So $150 for the dress, $85 for some fancy jewelry to go with it, $70 for hair touch up and an up do, $40 for a manicure/pedicure, $80 for a hotel room, $20 for dry cleaning a uniform, $50 to get the ribbons and such for hubby's uniform that he got since he wore it last, $40 for the tickets (thankfully I have shoes allready...many pairs to chose from actually LOL) I'm ready to go the ball and be as beautiful as ever....WOW when you spell it out like that it seems like a lot of money for a dry beef dinner and some cake and a DJ that always plays the "chicken dance"!

Well the drama begins....Monday we were helping my mom renovate the new barn/corral she bought at the city corrals in Wyoming....when I went to get some screws for my hubby who was hanging boards on the inside of the stall...I was walking towards him and I have NO idea what happened but next thing I know i'm a deer in headlights with a 2x4 headed towards my face!! BAM!! Quicker than you would believe the thing was timed perfectly because it did not hit me on my head or miss me by an inch...The end of it scraped down my forehead and hit me on my nose!! Well I covered my face as tears sprang to my eyes and I kept saying I'm okay I'm okay! Hubby was crowding all around me because he was scared he would pull my hands back and see a bloody eye area because he thought it hit me in my eye...I was crying (it hurt like hell!) and saying I'm okay but is it bad?!? Because we have the Ball!! Mom felt bad, hubby felt bad, Pip's felt bad and I had a bitch of a headache!

Thankfully not much swelling on my nose, no black and blue marks just some big scabs on my forehead and nose. It hurts pretty bad still like there is a bruise there but no visible signs of any. After i recovered and could laugh about it hubby and we had a good laugh when we said "Marsha Marsha Marsha!"

We've had a good time thinking of funny one liners to tell people when they ask what happened to my face....But actually people have been pretty funny...they see it, but don't ask about it rather pretend it's not there like when you have something sticking out of your nose and nobody wants to be the one to point it out...But then when I say something about it they are always "OOOHHHH that is what happened! I was wondering!" Hubby thought we wouldn't get pictures this year since I have "scaby face" as i call it...I am thinking how else will I be able to hold it over his head in 20 years that 4 after getting back from Iraq/Kuwait he hit me in the face with a 2x4!! I want proof!!!

Living Alone

2005-10-11T12:40:00.000-06:00
Over the past 14 months I have adjusted to living alone...I have lived alone before so it wasn't so hard. Except this house is big! My bed is big! My couch is big! I began to think about the things I have done to make it seem less big. The downstairs has been turned into storage, a huge family room, bedroom and full bath resigned to holding old toys, clothes, paperwork and boxes of things that I refuse to throw out but still don't want cluttering up my life! My daughter moved up to my mother's back in February/March so since then it has just been me and the dog and cat. The dog has her cushion on the couch, the cat had hers and I had mine. It's a huge wrap around couch so there was a lot of couch that the cushions still look new! I guess about April or so I began to sleep on the couch rather than my bed, it was smaller and actually more comfortable than the awful old mattress we have on our bed!

When I get my dinner now and go to the living room to eat i'm a little surprised when there is someone else sitting there! My dearest hubby has chosen that cushion to sit on....it's a little odd and now I am trying to adjust sitting somewhere else but old habits are hard to break (If they weren't I wouldn't be smoking now would I?) When I take my shower it's never been a big deal if I used all the hot water...now it is cause I feel bad as I see him getting into a shower with cold water! I like to make Cinnamon Bun coffee..he likes Folgers so I made two pots.

I think it really hit me that someone was living with me again on his first full day here when I fell asleep and when I woke up I thought I would go grab some of the wonderful cheeseball that was in the fridge and some triscuit's and have me a snack...after all I left it some of it the night before. SURPRISE! While I was asleep someone had eaten my cheeseball! I feel kinda like Goldilocks and the three little bears "Someone has been eating my porridge"! But I guess if coffee and cheeseball is the only real things I have to get over I would gladly do that and so much more to have him home!

My Seabee Is Home

2005-10-06T19:33:00.000-06:00
I'm leaving for the airport in 30 minutes to go pick up my honey who is coming home tonight! WOOHOO! I wanted to buy him something like a cake or something...but of course he doesn't like cake. So I bought a peach pie (his favorite) and the lady at the Bakery decorated it with "Welcome Home" ! He's going to look at me and say "You are silly lady!" Might have noticed that I have changed the title of the blog. I figured it was more fitting since a lot of what is going to be written about will be not just about me and my life but our life again together. He thought it sounded good because "I'm a Seabee and you're my angel" Well yeah! Might be a little scarce for the next few days but will write again soon!

Making Changes

2005-10-06T04:49:00.000-06:00

For those that know me well, you know I get bored easily. So I was bored with the template so I am currently in the process of self teaching myself to make it better. I will be updating the page to better suit my own wants and it will be ever changing from now on!

Viet Nam War Memorial

2005-10-05T12:42:00.000-06:00

~~~~His body is Weak~~~~
By An Angel
His body is weak, his hair is now thin,
He once did a job all the crowds called a sin.
Volunteering he stood filled with pride and with honor,
We sent him to war, not once did he falter.
Courage and heartache earned him the medal they pinned to his chest,
As this brave young warrior was put to the test.
I ordered men to be killed as my own soldiers died,
A mission accomplished, he said with a sigh.
A welcome home not once would he ever receive,
His future we held in our hands you and me.
How could we hate this man for what he had done,
We told him to do it, we gave him the gun.
His face has been weathered by years of regret,
His eyes filled with images he'd rather forget.
With thoughts in his heart for those that gave all,
He took a long trip to a place called The Wall.
With bowed head and heavy heart he stood and he cried,
His sorrow and pain I saw, my heart hypnotized.
He weeps for the names of the men he once knew,
And the part of his life that is lost for him too.
For once this fine man should not cry alone,
I reach out my hand and I welcome him home.
I've come here today to show my respect,
To the brave men and women, our Viet Nam War Vets.
To the ones that are lonely, homeless or hungry,
It's you that we honor you fought for your country.
You came back to a world that was changing so fast,
Struggling to move on and forgetting the past.
Your sacrifice will not be lost to us once again,
We know what you did and it wasn't was sin.
It was us that were wrong and showed you dishonor,
You were once our young brothers, our husbands and fathers.
Those medals you earned fighting far from your home,
Was our way of thanks for the bravery you'd shown.
Wear them with pride like your heart on your chest,
To let us all know so we'll never forget

I wrote this poem for all the veterans although some of the thoughts are from friends that I have that served during that time. I have always had a special place in my heart for these vets. So going to the Viet Nam Memorial was very poignant moment for me. I told a friend of mine about the experience and I will relay some of it here as well. As you walk past the vendor's selling patches and pins you come onto the book with all the names and locations in it that you can look in. It's a massive book....then you look down the expanse of the sleek black granite and you see the names begin in chronological order.You see people walking around you but nobody is really talking...there are some parents explaining to their young children why it is important that they be here....You see the Veterans with wives and some visiting alone....I don't have family that is listed here so the names aren't a part of my past in that sense but they are my history as they are all of our history. I slowly walk along the pathway pausing to look at the items that have been left. Small flags, flower petals are visible in some areas, poems, hats & pins and everything else. I pause and look at the names...seeing them and imagining their faces.

Random names pop out in my mind and soon I begin to realize that I am not just walking alongside the wall but i've reached out my hand and as I move it runs along the names...feeling the outlines of them as I walk slowly and each time my fingertip dips into a groove I know that it's a personal sacrifice that someone made, that a family made and that our country made. I look around and notice i'm not the only one. Without thought people reach out, touching and gathering the emotions from their hands. I'm not sure if they have realized they are doing it as I had not at the beginning. Their fingers slide along the granite as they walk. I stand in front of the last name...they are in order of death and think to myself if it had ended an hour sooner, a day sooner or even 5 minutes sooner what names wouldn't be here?

For the ones that made it back who I know and have spent time with I am honored to know them rather than just know them as a name etched in stone.

Pictures

2005-10-05T12:07:00.000-06:00
Okay the pictures are on the other blog... Flat Angel you can see them there...I have tons more but will post them as they strike me if I like them.....Hope you all enjoy the pictures!

History I Miss Out On

2005-10-05T10:11:00.000-06:00
Well I figured I would post some of my thoughts on Washington DC as I have a bit of time at the moment...Of course I should be doing something about my messy house but no let's sit at the computer some more! LOL

I think one of the most interesting things about being there for me being from the West was the fact that there is so much history there. I get this feeling whenever I go to the east and I drive by some of the towns and buildings because out west if it's been around since the mid 1800's it's history for us. I went to the Smithsonian Museum of American History and they have an exhibit there about ONE house and the all the different families that have lived there for the past 250 years. It was amazing...there were revoluntinists, slaves, abolitionists, WWII wife and the list goes on and on...And I was reading the information on how to research your OWN house's history and find out who lived there before you and how look around my own house and think... well my mother and father in law built it so there's not much research I need to do except call them up on my cell phone! So you don't get the rich history of the lives that came before you here.

To look at a house and imagine past presidents, congressman and influential people that have really molded our past sitting on the porches smoking, drinking tea or an after dinner drink discussing politics and shaping our great nation. It's just amazing....

Here I look at saloons where a bandit had a last shot of whisky before robbing the stage coach! Go figure...welcome to the Wild Wild West!

A New Reader

2005-10-04T09:33:00.000-06:00
Okay forgot to tell you all that while I was gone my hubby got back to the USA and is now currently at the Seabee Base in California awaiting completion of his Demob stuff. Hope to have him back here Thursday or Friday at the latest. WOOHOOO!!!!! But since I've been telling him that I have been writing things here but he was unable to read it before due to security on his computer there but since he is now in Cali and can access it he is now a new reader! He asked me last night to send him the address so he could read it...hmmm hope I only said good things about him before *wink*.

Honey I'm home!

2005-10-04T09:25:00.000-06:00
Okay I am officially back from my vacation that I went on last Wednesday to Washington DC. Was suppose to be back on Sunday night but it was raining in Chicago and so our plane was grounded in Baltimore for 2 hours waiting for the O'Hare to give the "wheels up okay". And of course when we got there at 9:30 pm we had missed our connecting flight which left as soon as they lifted the traffic ban for planes near their scheduled time of 8:05 pm. So we had no clothes and had to stay in a hotel because the first flight out they could get us on was at 3:15 the following day! So I made it home in one piece last night...still have to go pick up the dog at the kennel and unpack at this point.

I'm headed to pick up the dog, develope some pics for my daughter to take to school and have to drop by the reserve center...apparently they owe ME money from my trip to San Diego and need my checking account information. Now if only they would pay the $1800 or so that they owe my hubby we will be set! Mine is only maybe $50! Dinner and a movie LOL

Check back tommarrow most likely for stuff on my trip that I'll post....Going to write something tonight.

New Video

2005-09-27T00:41:00.000-06:00
**Okay I have moved the video to the top for now...just to showcase it a bit more. **

Okay I have posted a new video at the bottom of the blog....in tribute to my wonderful loving hubby who is right now flying above the world somewhere on his way home. Well close to home anyway! He will be at his demob site for a few days...and says that because it's my fault that I'm going to Washington instead of visiting him there he has to stay at one of the single guy's beachfront house on his 4 day leave....oh I bet twisting that arm hurts doesn't it honey? He's planning on getting another tattoo while he is there...Something to do with the Seabee's but he hasn't decided yet...I told him he deserved it....I deserve another one too but it took too long to decide on the one I got on my lower back I would hate to see how long it takes to figure out the next one!

I made this video as a tribute to him....when I get back from my trip on Sunday I will post the other one that I made for him of pictures of us. A few of the pictures on this video are from Desert Storm and you can tell because the quality is not as good! He is my American Soldier and the love of my life! 14 months has been a long time but then again it's just like yesterday that he left....I can't wait till he gets back home in a couple weeks....

Angry Angel

2005-09-27T00:27:00.000-06:00
That is what I am today! A spitting mad angry angel! I'm so furious and sick to my stomach to live where I do! I've held my tongue for quite awhile but NO LONGER WILL I STAND BY AND KEEP QUIET!! I am so embarrassed to be a citizen of this city that I could rent a Uhaul today and leave. THIS started it over a month ago.....and THIS ended it for me this weekend. This is our MAYOR who uses GOVERNMENT EMAIL to send out a cry for protests! An ELECTED OFFICIAL who chooses to make his views not only known but publicily denounce our government and support anti war protestors. The first time was just sad considering that the VFW National convention was going on and he actually made a SPEECH at it after leaving the protest site. With so much of our local National Guard gone and Hill AFB just a short drive away he might as well have spit on the families that are left behind. I guarantee that when I get back I will send off the letters to the editorial pages and begin to visit the protest sites here locally to voice my own opinion. I myself feel that he should relieved of his duties after publicily embarrassing us the first time with the National Media reporting on the fact that OUR PRESIDENT was here and OUR MAYOR called for a protest. Not only did he visit the protest but he ORGANIZED it! Sickens me! Rocky Anderson I have one thing to say to you...Hit the Road Rocky!

Something Interesting To Say

2005-09-21T21:28:00.000-06:00
Okay I haven't been on for a bit...trying to come up with something interesting, intellectual, fascinating or some other great word to say....Haven't had much luck!

Thought our pay problem was fixed...it is not. They issued us a check for $1300 which isn't even the amount that they took from us last month! So we are still working on that. Good news though....

Hubby might be back in the country within a week! Wish I could go and see him, he is going to travel to the same place he left out of but he will be flying in the day before I fly to Washington DC but luckily he will be doing the demob process till at least after i get back home. I was afraid he might be the one coming to get ME at the airport! This would be 2 weeks earlier than he thought....which is great. I have odd feelings about this but may decide to explain later on...for now i'm still sorting through my mind. As you can see still not thinking of anything that is interesting to say!

Had surgery. All went well...it was scheduled for 10:30 am they told me to be there at 9:30 am. FINALLY around 11 am they come in and give me an IV after I have been undressed wearing a "shower cap" and a hospital gown for 1 1/2 and say "Did the nurse tell you she made a mistake when she scheduled the surgeries?" Umm no...what's that mean? "Well right now there are still 2 people in front of you and they have surgeries lasting 1 1/2 hours....She accidently only gave 30 minutes for each surgery rather than 1 1/2 hours." Okay great news (insert sarcastic rolling of eyes here)...not good when they ask if you would like a book and they bring you a NOVEL...I said no I want some onion rings I haven't eaten for 14 hours! LOL Finally went in at 2, in recovery at 3:30 and out of the hospital on my way home by 4:30. Got my prescriptions, heating pad, some KFC (rootbeer float and a biscuit after 19 hours of not eating is good for the soul! ) and was headed home to sleep!

Woman next to me in recovery was a bit mentally handicapped....so when she woke up she was crying and screaming for her "mommy and chicken soup" (She looked to be about 40) . I asked the nurse if I said anything crazy or embarrassing when I woke up..she said no I was fine. Very groggy barely out of the anesthia and the DR comes by and asks if I have any questions...I carefully remove my oxygen mask and say "Yes when can I have sex again?" LOL Told hubby he probably thinks i'm some nympho or something...Hubby said in a very calm voice..."Well that is a very good question to ask honey I'm happy that you thought of it...now how long did he say? Cause I will be home soon!" <---pervert! LOL I know that 14 months in the sand will do that to you...okay I lie he was like that before! It's only gotten progressively worse!

One Less Stressor

2005-09-14T21:16:00.000-06:00

Yay! The important people have helped us with our pay problem...according to EQCM we will be getting a supplement check with the amount that they so quickly and WRONGLY took out of my hubby's checks over the last two months....we will know by Friday when and how much exactly but if i've done my calculations correctly it should be about $2700 dollars! Finally I can pay ALL the bills now and breathe a sigh of relief! So things are looking up...Hubby sent me this picture and I thought it was really neat looking with the sunset behind him.....He has no idea when it was taken or by who but he got it and thought he would share...He's dirty, sandy, sunburnt and silly but he's mine! He's the one with the radio and pistol.

Quarter Life Crisis

2005-09-13T23:06:00.000-06:00
I'm going through a 1/4 life crisis...have been for probably 8 months or so...I had all these dreams when I was little about what I was going to do when I grew up...well actually ONE dream I was going to be a lawyer, since the time I was 4 my mom said and it never waivered...Well I got pregnant in high school, graduated and started college--Pre law with a double minor in speech communications and ecology. I was going to save the world! Be an environmental lawyer...I love it...I was a champion debater in high school (Yes i have trophies to prove it LOL ) But I had to make a choice a year later....stay in an abusive relationship or run as fast as I could and quit school to take care of my daughter and I. I chose our life and happiness and put my dream on the back burner.

I always thought I would get back to it...then months turned into years...and soon I had a 6 year old who needed clothes and food and so I looked at her and knew that I couldn't put her life on hold to follow my dream...I had to get a job that paid well and keep plugging along at life. Soon I was looking at my dream--realizing that I was soon to be VERY OLD (okay 27 LOL) and so I began to add up the time for a bachelor's degree, law school, being a nobody at a law firm and finally making money at what...40 plus?!? For those in those age ranges I mean no offense...But it is an awfully long time to be poor and then finally make money when it's almost time to retire!

So everything else has just been a space filler...something to give me a paycheck but it's not what is in my heart! I have had dreams....being a nurse, a realtor, truck driver (LOL Still going to do that but that's okay !), Insurance Estimator (did that for years) Horse Trainer (Okay seriously that is a dream LOL) but nothing that compares to my dream of being a lawyer. I LOVE college. I really do...everything about it! I was my most happiest in life while in school... So I think I decided what to do when I grow up (yay only 28 going on 29 now!)

Tommarrow I am sending requests for my transcripts and see where I stand...hell it's been too long I blocked it all out of my memory on what classes I have taken for sure LOL Then I am going to compare it to a list of general education and other requirements for a couple schools that I have chosen...Then buy a book for CLEP exams. I know I can test out of some...I have done entirely too well in school and on my ACT's that I took so many lonnnnnggggg years ago not to...And i've only become more educated as life has thrown me into so many different careers. And concentrate on doing that and then put in an application. Maybe a few online courses in the next year...Will need to save up some money before I can do that and hubby needs to finish getting his Associates degree otherwise he won't make Chief when he is eligible here soon and that is important and on more of a timeline...

But that is what I'm going to do...I've been successful in every job I've ever had...promotions have always come to me based on merit because i'm just that over achiever type of person. Will being a lawyer still be what is in my heart in a few years? Possibly...but there is time I have decided...lots and lots of time...I'm not that old...and I have a husband that supports me in whatever I do. So we shall see!

I got things to do honestly why am I here?

2005-09-13T22:11:00.000-06:00
Okay seriously I need to stay off the computer and stop reading blogs and start writing my speech for Saturday! I have to give a briefing on pre Mobilization family rediness to the entire Reserve Center. I'm not worried about public speaking or anything...but nobody has given me a guideline on what to talk about...So I had a long talk with the Commander today (about a lot of things) and he and I talked about a couple things. But i'm thinking i'm going to be wingin it !

Tommarrow I am calling the Air Force clinic near here. They really upset me on Friday and for the past 2 weeks. Not going to get into it but it's just their being inconsiderate. If you aren't in the AF then you dont' mean shit to them and they will let you know! I think the real problem with Military Clinics is that the doctor's there don't give a crap....You aren't a customer, they don't need to treat you good or have good service because what does it matter if you don't go there? That they see one less patient but still get paid the same amount of money! You being treated so badly by them and talked to so rudely that you are in tears when you get through or being strung along to get medicine that they themselves have said you need due to the test results that they ordered doesn't make one bit of difference...they will still get check on the 1st and the 15th. Well im' going to be one of many who stand up and say "Your clinic is awful!"

There's nothing that makes them strive for good service, no reward for keeping their patients. So in the meantime you just have to buck it up and go there or else nothing...I mean it is seriously ridiculous! The commander told me to call them and talk to their customer complaint department. I am going to and be very professional and explain to them that given my position as ombudsman for the reserve center how I will have to honestly tell the reserve families when they call me and ask how the service is at Hill that they suck!

Great just one more thing to write down tonight...hmmmmm I do much better under pressure maybe I will wait till Friday night to write my notes for my speech!

Monday

2005-09-12T13:03:00.000-06:00
Okay well I didn't post anything yesterday...slept for most of the day but I got that situation worked out hopefully so I will have more energy soon *YAY!*

Hubby is no longer flying into Gulfport he is now going to be headed to Florida. Would like to be able to afford to fly there and spend 4 days hanging out in Florida with him but due to the Navy messing up his pay for the past 6 weeks I doubt we will have the money for that. Although we are working on it and have made it quite an issue so now we got the "big ones" involved. Next step is Congressman ! Although I mentioned that (people jump when you say that LOL) but I am trying to follow the chain and get it squared away within the military system. So hope to see something happen in the next couple of days.

Wanted to buy him one of those tshirts and send it to him so he could wear it home..."Happiness is Iraq in my rearview mirror" but that will only happen if we get money in the next couple of days otherwise it won't make it in time.

391 days...seems like forever and yet seems like yesterday at the same time he's been gone. 3.28 weeks according to his countdown clock last night. I have been here before....told him we got down to 2.23 weeks last time and started back at 6 months! He said "Nope definately coming home this time you can count on it!" Well not much to say for now will visit again later tonight.

9/11 Recruit Story aka Our Love Story

2005-09-10T15:53:00.000-06:00
I read an article on CNN the other day about people enlisting after 9/11 and began to think about my OWN recruitment story. I did not enlist in the armed forces as a member and of course my husband had already served as an Army Combat Engineer and was a member of the Navy Seabees allready. I was enlisted as a military spouse. This is our love story told from my perspective, I don't know what was in his mind because if you knew my hubby then you would know he's not as open as you would hope....but something happened during that time which in a way changed everything and maybe one day he will tell me his side of the story...

I remember where I was when it happened, right out of O.W's War of the worlds...I had dropped off my daughter and just gotten in the car and turned on the radio and it was 7:30 local time and I was on my way to work. I don't need to tell you there was no work to be done that day...nobody called...nobody came in. The ones that did, stayed and watched the TV my boss had ran home to get rather than asked about their cars. It didn't seem important anymore. Day turned into night and it still didn't seem real....my husband and I talked about things and it wasn't long before he got the phone call I remember picking up the phone and they said "This is XXX from the Reserve Center is Petty Officer XXX there?"....Make sure your bag is packed and you can be reached at all times, you've been put on alert.

The phone calls started from family and friends because they all wanted to know if he would be called up....and of course my husband being the calm person he is told people "Stop f*^%ing asking me I will know when i'm headed out if something is going on! Until I have orders to go I'm not going!" I must admit I was one of those people but he likes to sleep with me so he didn't get that mean with me! Let me give you a bit of background....

We met in the fall of 1997. Wow seems like a long time when I say it like that! I was 20 (course he thought I was 21 but that is another story!) and he was just out of the Army. We began dating and for years ahead we faced challenges that almost broke our spirit in each other. We broke up, dated other people but always came back to each other realizing that we were meant to be. But he was always insistant he would NEVER get married again (after 2 marriages he was done...a high school sweetheart who left him while in Korea for 2 years and an awful woman who tried to take his spirit as well as his son) I accepted the fact that for NOW I would be a girlfriend....didn't mean I didn't love him or he didn't love me but that was what it was going to be. We lived our life like we were married the committment was there but I had told him that one day it wouldn't be enough for me...one day I would wake up and realize I was some 40 year old girlfriend and want more. But we went on until 2001 that way. He went to drill weekend that first time a week afterwards....and he came home.

I remember he was sitting on the couch and I was in the kitchen and asked him

"Did they tell you anything at drill? Are you going anywhere?" I was met with silence....so I said "Honey!" (little louder this time) and asked again...silence....So i decided it was time for me to come out of the kitchen and he was sitting there still...So I asked again (can't say i'm not persistant) and looking straight ahead still wearing his uniform with a look on his face I hadn't seen before he said...

"What would you do?"

"What do you mean what would I do?"

"What would you do!" (looking at me now as I stand there holding the dishtowel)

"Once again what do you mean what would I do?"

"What the f*ck would you do if I was called away for a year or longer?!?" (so now i get a little angry that he is yelling and me and how dare he ask me such a stupid question!)

"I wouldn't do ANYTHING!" ( I have no idea exactly what he is talking about... I mean what kind of question is "What would you do?" but I figured that answer is the best I can come up with right now)

" You would do something...you would leave...you'd go back to Wyoming with your mother!! You wouldn't stay because we're not married and there is no reason for you to stay!!" (oh no he did not just say that! And yelling at me to boot?)

"You are right I would do something! (now i'm pissy) I would do something...you wanna know what?!? (shaking the dishtowel at him) I would get up in the morning, get my daughter ready for school, take her to daycare, go to work, pick her up from daycare, come home, make dinner, give her a bath, go to bed, and then you know what I would do the next day? (hands on my hips) I would wake up, get her ready for school, take her to daycare...Do you see where i'm going with this? HOW DARE YOU! say that I would just take off and that there is NO COMMITTMENT here just because we aren't married...I moved here for YOU! I have a job here, a house, a life here because YOU are here. You are the one saying that "it's just a piece of paper that we are committed" I made a committment long ago to you and if there is no such committment on your side then yeah I might as well leave if that's what you are saying to me"

He left the room ...

A week later he wanted to go with me to the mall (mind you christmas shopping season was begining and he HATES the mall...I'm not sure he has even been but maybe once or twice since then) to get something for my cell phone and he said he wanted to walk around a bit we finally made our way back to where we started to the jewelry store (next to the cell phone place). And he walked up the wedding ring section (You know the salespeople pounce on you when you walk over there) and he said "I like that one...You know you are picking out your christmas present dont' you?" I told him "Yeah but you know you still have to ask me don't you?"

So that is our love story...and my 9/11 recruitment story as a military spouse...It wasn't a sense of patriotism or pride that made this happen because of 9/11....maybe it was his fear of losing something he cared about BECAUSE of his patriotism and pride and love for his country...he knew at some point he would go. He volunteered to go back then and everyday since then. I tease him that he just wanted to make sure I could use the commissary when he was gone if he went...But I wonder if he feared me leaving or if it was in that moment that he realized that I really did love him and he actually realized that he loved me that it wasn't just something for the now but something something for the future.

He left over a year ago...and I have been through a lot here at home because he's not here but knowing that he loves me and his letters telling me that it would be hell over there knowing that if I wasn't at home for him writing him letters, sending him packages and supporting him in everything that he does makes me happy to have been recruited as a military spouse and never having a bit of regret that I signed the dotted line and I will re-up as long as we live.

I need a remote control

2005-09-07T18:35:00.000-06:00
Okay I forget yesterday as I was stuck on the couch with a heating pad on my neck (don't ask) I figured out I needed a remote control. I couldnt' move because it hurt when I did so I laid there for 2 hours watching UPN (some backwards fox channel as far as I can tell) and I watched commercials for Dermo Max some manly creme-funny commercial not like ha ha funny but really odd funny like I didn't think someone actually paid for a producer to make it. And then watched this show Cheaters seriously like some America's most wanted type show with low deep voices of the announcers, surveillance cameras taken by their "elite private investagators" and people having sex in cars in parking lots and even one guy who got out of the car naked with a shirt on his front to throw out a drink in the trash can a good 40 feet away from the car he was being taped in having sex with someone who WASN'T his girlfriend. Seriously who does that? He even took a big drink before he tossed it in the trash...Anyway it's a comical show to watch..sad but comical at the same time...But i really need to get a remote control!

Today's Thoughts

2005-09-07T18:21:00.000-06:00
Today is an odd day for me....

Smelled cut grass all day...maybe it's a hint that I should cut mine. Front lawn is long..Back lawn is a jungle but the cat and dog have fun in it.

Got my last shot before the surgery on the 20th. My butt hurts and they were freaking out about the account balance because Tricare hasn't paid. Convinced them not to worry.

Took a nap-5 hours. Great now i'm up all night.

Watched things today...I mean really watched them. Sat at the backwindow and watched the cat hunting a mouse-she found her prey. Watched people walk down the street. Watched the man across the street nailing shingles to a roof and can hear the sound of his nail gun tapping through the noise.

Picked up garbage around the house and cleaned out the fridge-Needed to be done last week but haven't felt like it...

Did nothing all day long and feel like I did nothing-going for a walk later on...today has been an odd day.

My Newest Engineer

2005-09-07T00:45:00.000-06:00

Okay I came across a blog that was talking about adopting a group of 500 Combat Engineers to be adopted. This is being ran by a wonderful woman named PJ ( to email her click here) Please visit the and keep up with the wonderful efforts of this adventure adopting out the 150th Engineer Battalion. She is still short on her goal of having everyone of them adopted but definately on her way! I of course adoped one and have sent my first letter out to him and waiting on dearly beloved DFAS to get their head straight so I can send a package! Sorry even my adopted "boys" don't get a package if my hubby doesn't and until then I don't have the funds to get them anything!
I will keep updated on what goes on with my newest adoption. I have other soldiers and veterans adopted through the Angel's N Camouflage organization that I have been a part of for quite awhile. I have linked both of these under my links section. I encourage you to play a part in making sure that the soldiers/sailors/marines know they are thought of back home. If it's just a postcard or a thank you. Please show your support and send SOMETHING to our deployed and wounded letting them know we are behind them 100% and their families as they are away from their families or recovering.
Engineers are very close to my heart as my husband was in the Army as a Combat Engineer for 8 years prior to his enlistment in the Seabees. 2nd, 5th, and 10th Engineer Battalions for him! When he went to Desert Storm he was in the Army.

United Airlines sucks!

2005-09-07T00:08:00.000-06:00
Okay little strong wording but hey it's true! Okay I just came across this article and it just reminded me how much they ticked me off! I had posted before that I was scheduled to fly into NOLA (okay we all know that isn't happening but keep readin) but I had called United because I am actually going to be in Washington DC from September 28th-Oct 2nd and have a flight going out of Baltimore back to Utah. This cost us $381.00 roundtrip from Utah to Baltimore. So I contacted United to see how much more it would cost for me to change my return flight originating from Baltimore to New Orleans but flying out of New Orleans on the 10th of October instead....the woman on the phone said it would take her a moment to check it out. So I decided to tell her WHY I was looking to change my flight. I let her know that I had gotten information that my husband would be flying out of Kuwait back home within a couple days of me flying back to Utah and so I figured I would just stay on the east coast and fly back with him or at least around the time he came back and we could take 4 days leave visiting the area since he has been gone for 14 months in IRAQ! SOOOO she came back with an answer for me...it would require almost $700 EXTRA on top of the $381 to change the flight that way....Ummm okay so I'm changing departure cities (which NOLA is actually cheaper to fly in and out of on any carrier including United than Baltimore according to the searches I had done on airfare before scheduling my trip to Washington) and I was going to change it to a later date which normally makes it cheaper...Silly me thought they might want to help me out since I am FINALLY getting my husband back. But according to this article it says that they will offer discounts to military families...hmmmm funny....

Cost of my plane ticket from Utah to NOLA on October 4th returning on October 10th????!!! The suspense is killing you....$241.00 Thank you Delta! Now I know at this point it doesn't make a difference but that article just brought it all back up to the surface...sorry had to go off!

I wrote them an email asking for an explanation as to WHY they would say they are offering a discount to military families/members but not when they have to change an existing flight when we all know how much notice you normally get for sure as to when they are coming home... still waiting to hear for sure whether they will actually take them to Gulport or fly them somewhere else for their debriefing like Port Hueneme. Guarantee though United won't be getting my money!

Contractors

2005-09-06T22:53:00.000-06:00
Wow I am beginning to think it's the same NOLA and Iraq....

Intimidation, attacks take toll on contractors in Iraq <-these are the Iraqi contractors being trained by our military to rebuild their own country being killed by their own "citizen" (that term is meant very loosely there) hmmm where have we seen that happen before...citizens needing a strong infrastructure again and yet certain people not allowing that to happen.... You can see my post earlier regarding the attacks on our Army Corp of Engineers the other day there in NOLA....hmmmm odd dont' you think?

Okay i'm done let's get back to Iraq....The cost of security to protect these contractors (wait let's call them....useful citizens for now) is seriously eating into the budget for the reconstruction...now if didn't have to use 5 billion dollars to train and equipt the Iraqi Police (who by the way their own "people" <---insurgents are killing and attacking their families) then we could get a lot more done...but i'm sure it's not right to attack those "poor people" who chose to murder, intimidate and harm the contractors who are only trying to make a free Iraq a better place to live for their own families as well as others....I mean after all we are the monsters right?!?
""He goes to sites, handing out workers a letter saying, 'I know where you
live, and I'll kill you and your family,' " McCoy said. "He's out there kidnapping and killing these people." (speaking of Abu Bakr, who leads a splinter cell of al-Qaeda in Iraq)
I'm sure he's a very nice man on the inside who only wants a peaceful end to all this...and if we weren't there he would not be doing that...Good thing i'm not so jaded and I can think optimistically! (okay i really almost spit my ice cream that time I swear!)

A Confession?

2005-09-06T22:12:00.000-06:00
I'm not going to say much about this but hey it's got to be mentioned...I think there were three things to the article that really hit home and made an impression on me...

That they think it might be a ploy to simply sway public opinion about whether or not he "commited a crime"? "Is this the fabrication of Talabani or what? Let's not have a trial on TV. Let the court of law, not the media, make its ruling on this," Alani said. Okay seriously since when has the court of law or legal issues ever come into play there for a very long time? Oh wait...everything was decided by law there...just like the elections too bad they were all ran by ONE person!
This scares me the most..."The perception that Saddam was being convicted before a trial could add the Sunni anger." This could have dire consequences for our forces over there as the Sunni make up the majority and stronghold within the insurgency...this could spell danger and an uproar amongst the fighting that they are experiencing there...this could definatly be worse than the riots caused by Newsweeks' Koran Scandal earlier this year. I just hope that if this is a ploy it doesn't have an affect on our men and women in uniform (fighting the fight that is just and right)
"Saddam's legal team said it plans to challenge the starting date as allowing insufficient time for a proper defense. Defense lawyers also said they would challenge the trial's legitimacy." Now this one just made me laugh outloud and almost spit Banana Split Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream across my monitor...Ummmmm let's see he's been in custody since December 2003....two years?!? Two years isn't enough time...and PLEASE I think questioning the legitimacy is like the pot calling the kettle black dont' you think?

Where are we again?

2005-09-05T14:16:00.000-06:00
Okay just wondering where we are again...because i'm sorry does this sound like america? Do we need to send armored personnel with every contractor and relief worker out there? Apparently we need to follow the rules that our military has set forth in Iraq....

NEW ORLEANS - Police shot and killed at least five people Sunday after gunmen opened fire on a group of contractors traveling across a bridge on their way to make repairs, authorities said. -ap

What about our apache's backing up the blackhawks and other aid workers in the sky? Apparently if we are shooting at them we need them!

Besides the lawlessness, civilian deaths and uncertainty about their families, New Orleans' police have had to deal with suicides in their ranks. Two officers took their lives, including the department spokesman, Paul Accardo, who died Saturday, according to Riley. Both shot themselves in the head, he said. Sad.....very very sad...

I only have one question as I watch the coverage and some of the people there...I understand the sick, the old, the children, and even the many people that are so overweight that they can't move by themselves...but I see men and women in their 20's and 30's that are honestly in better shape than myself...WHY DID THEY NOT WALK OUT? I don't care if I had to SWIM out I would have left...shown up at someone's house once I got to a safe place that wasn't affected and said "Please get me some help" why just sit there and WAIT for someone to come and give you food and shelter and water? I just really don't understand and have heard the same echoed from other people....Why did they not just walk out....leave...they had DAYS and DAYS to evacuate...I'm sure that if someone was walking out someone else with a car would have given them a ride...I would have put a backpack on and left by foot, bicycle anything to get out of there! I would have ridden a Hotwheel of my child if I thought it could get me someplace safe. I will never understand it....I guess I haven't gotten to the point when I will sit back and wait for the govt to hand me assistance and rescue.....I would have found it myself.

The evac of the people left there needs to have order...otherwise what do you have when you move a large group of people to a spot to evac them and there is no order in it but you just make a mass exodus? You get the SuperDome or the Convention Center and we saw how well that worked....I'm sorry to see everything that is going on but it has to be an organized effort.

PTSD

2005-09-05T12:48:00.000-06:00
With everything that is going on in the world I thought I would bring up this organization...It is a non profit organization founded by a man who suffered due to the Vietnam war and wrote a book about his experiences for his children and has now started this site in hopes to help those affected by events and suffereing from PTSD. It is an organization ran by volunteers that many are PTSD survivors themselves. I think it would be a great place for information, referral and a listening ear for those that need it...

(This is their mission statement)
Mission
The mission of the PTSD Alliance is to support
PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) survivors by advocating for their rights in the American society; finding assistance for them through public and private resources; and to educate the public on the effects of PTSD on the survivor.
This is something that we will need to deal with for service members and the first responders but also for the people of Katrina that have seen the devastation...My local newsperson said it last night "They didnt' say much on the plane here from NOLA but the empty haunted look in their eyes said it all and will surely be there forever into the future"

Flat Angel

2005-09-05T11:01:00.000-06:00
I had some pictures up from Flat Angel's USO Tour but I have since moved them on to the picture page. Please check the Link at the top of the page to navigate there!

A Bitter Pill

2005-09-04T22:29:00.000-06:00
I was reading through somethings that I have posted lately...and even chatting on yahoo with "friends" and realized that i've been kinda a b*tch lately! It's a long weekend and everyone keeps asking me "What are you doing this weekend?" Well ummm I guess you are looking at it! I have had a really hard time dealing with things these last few months...like life is just building up on me and I'm not sure how to cope anymore. And this is from someone who according to some is the "perfect military spouse" I'm a confident strong patriotic person who has always made it my goal to support others through their dark times. Now i look around and think Who is supporting me? Where are the people to tell me that I don't have be lonely? That I don't have to handle the pay problems or health problems by myself....I've given so much time to others I forgot about myself. I'm in this huge house by myself with only my dog and cat and my computer. Reaching out to others but having nobody answer the call.

I quit working months ago and I think that in late June that started to wear on me. But then hubby came home on R&R and everything was fine. I'm so used to being independent, working, stressed that this time alone in my house has started to overwhelm me. Especially when the Navy messes up his pay (I pray that it is fixed and we will get the money back on the 15th like they say...I have faith!!)

Daughter is living with my mom and I hate to say it but when I go there and she seems happier than she has been here in Utah it kills me....it causes an ache in my heart I can't even explain. My mom tells me that when i'm not there she threatens her in moving back to Utah with me...( i've been on the other side of that conversation for years...the grass isn't always greener hey Pip's?) But when hubby gets back and returns to the Reserves we are going truckin (I refer to it as our adventure) and hopefully it will work out the way we want and soon we will have our dreams come true...and we can all be together again...

I guess it's just hard to admit that I NEED my husband as much as I do. He's my best friend and my love...but that doesn't mean I didn't have some sort of childish fantasy that without him here I would be fine...I was for awhile...but 14 months drags on and on...He's a Seabee for gods sakes! That's suppose to be 6 mos! Silly me I married the one with a sense of pride and work ethic!

Moving on to another night...guess he isn't coming on tonight. It's a long weekend I think I will sleep in again....

Biloxi Gulfport Area

2005-09-04T20:01:00.000-06:00
While most people have been so concerned about what has been going on in New Orleans and how long people have waited for help there are other towns that were affected but were not able to get aid till Thursday. These people did not riot, they did not kill, they did not rape, they did not complain--they made do, they survived, they did what they could for each other. Perhaps the people complaining should look to their neighbors that had their entire towns destroyed by the Hurricane itself....it's not good anywhere but there are lots of stories of survival out there. It just angers me that all we can think about is New Orleans.....

Seabees Can Do

2005-09-04T19:05:00.000-06:00
There is a good section at Navy Newstand showing pictures of our Seabees working in the aftermath of hurricane Katrina....

Gulfport, Miss. (Sept. 3, 2005) – U.S. Navy Seabee,
Constructionman SeamanMichael Jackson, assigned to Naval Mobile Construction Battalion One (NMCB-1),Alpha Company, fills a portable potable water tank for the South Mississippi Kidney Center in North Gulfport, Miss. The center is currently treating more than 300 dialysis patients with the use of emergency generators. The
lifesaving water the Navy is delivering to the center is used for filtering patient's
blood. Without this vital component, patients would be forced to travel to the
next city for treatment. The Navy's involvement in the humanitarian assistance
operations is led by the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA), in conjunction
with the Department of Defense. U.S. Navy photo by Photographer'sMate 2nd
Class Michael B. Watkins (RELEASED)

It's great the work they are doing while their own families are living in shelters. Bravo Zulu to our Seabees for showing their "Can Do" attitude in times of need!

Flat Angel

2005-09-04T11:32:00.000-06:00
How many people know what a "Flat Stanley" is? Most everyone with kids in school should know! Well hubby has been talking about sending all his stuff home from the sandbox and he said he was going to take me off the wall and pack me up to leave...doesn't that sound funny? Well i got this awesome idea of "Flat Angel"! I am now currently trying to convince him to please take my picture around camp and so I can put it in a scrapbook....we will see if he has the guts to do it or not! I can just see him carrying around a picture of me and taking digital pictures of it! Too bad our daughter didn't have this project this year....he has been to many countries! Flat Piper only got to go to Georgia to visit his dad. Well official word hubby doesn't have much to do tommarrow so "Flat Angel" will be visiting around camp!! WOOHOO!! Can't wait to see the pictures...I told him he had to take a picture that isn't "sexy" so that I can show it to everyone...afraid of which picture he is actually going to use!!

**Update on the Flat Angel project...it is now known as "Flat Angel's USO tour!" LOL I told hubby to make sure that he got a picture of Flat Angel with some of his guys over there and I could call it "Flat Angel Supports the Troops" and he is going to do it! But I have mentioned this to a few hero's I know across the US military and now I am going to get pictures from all over! If you would like to be part of Flat Angel please let me know! I would love to attend your local Protest the Protestors gatherings as well!**

Coming Home!

2005-09-03T23:13:00.000-06:00
My husband will be home 4.44 weeks according to his countdown...he's starting to get really done with being over there. It's been over a year now, and as I posted before he had volunteered to stay another 6 months back in April. Of course when he went the first time he pretty much begged to be put on the list that was deploying and when he stayed when everyone else from here came home I supported him so we have been joking about the fact that ONCE AGAIN they are asking for volunteers to stay another 6 month deployment.

He's packing up his footlocker to send it home...he did that once before and then I had to actually send a few things BACK to him because that's when he got his orders to extend finally after they told him he was coming home. I told him he should be excited that he will be home to unpack it this time!

This is our last email conversation about it....
Him: well that sounds like fun i don't have any plans either just sitting
around getting my stuff ready to mail home. Now that sounds good mailing my stuff home lol.
Me: yeah but you have done that once before LOL so we will see if you
actually are here to unpack it LOL just kidding honey :P I know you won't stay again :) Not with your attitude lately LOL you sound like you are done :) i'm starting to get real excited about it though :)
Him: ya me too and your right theres no way i'll stay again. i want to get
back and spend time with you and the kids. i have done my part for now. you can bet i'll have to deploy again some time but not for a couple of years at least lol.
Me: yeah well i bet after a year back home with me and the kids you
will be jumping up and down emailing everyone and their dog again to go if the opportunity arises for anyone to go back LOL And i will shake my head and order more priority mail boxes from the post office when you do LOL
Him: Well i don't know about a year but you are probably right if they are looking for people to come back i will be the one to say i'll go. you know me thats just the way i am but i think i will be taking full advantage of the 2 years that i have before they can call me back!

So that's my hubby and I thought it was nice to share...

Chief Justice Rehnquist

2005-09-03T21:40:00.000-06:00
Chief Justice William Rehnquist has passed on. He has helped shape many descisions of the court and his influence has been seen many times.

Toby Keith

2005-09-03T21:26:00.000-06:00
Okay honestly I think Toby Keith is a wonderful person that does a lot for the "blue collar" and "camo collar" workers of the USA. He is a man who just lays it out and says Like it or Leave it! I love this song and decided to put it up here even though I had American Soldier on here before. I laugh when I hear this song because I live in Utah and when this song first came out of course the "god loving morman's" who discrimnate against my family, my daughter and my life because I don't go the church decided that it wasn't a good song and wasn't going to allow it on the radio because he said ASS so the radio station did this whole advertisement that they would be playing an "edited version" with the bad word taken out....so I was thinking to myself as I was driving that day "Dammit they caved into "the church" " (as it's known here because you know it's the only church here so we just automatically call it that )*sarcasm is hidden in that sentence can you find it?!?* So it played and i listened...yes here comes the part..... We'll put a *BEEEPP* in your ASS it's the American way! HAHAHAHA I about died laughing!! So everytime I hear this song I laugh and laugh gotta love a country music station!!!

Katrina

2005-09-03T20:47:00.000-06:00
Okay I am trying to not post that much about the hurricane I have so many conflicting emotions. Yes I know people that have been directly affected by it, Yes I feel bad for all the people, Yes I wish that people could just magically snap their fingers and all the people there were able to have gotten food and water and medical care immediately but since we dont' live in a disney movie they couldn't. It's sad yes...but what is really sad is all the violence and the mayhem that has erupted...I mean I understand they are hungry "I'm so hungry I could rape someone...." Because that is the first thing I would think of if I was that hungry...hey at least it might take your mind off it right? Or better yet "I'm so pissed because nobody is bringing ME help or food...hey is that a helicopter here trying to drop off supplies or rescue someone?!? OH WELL THEN I think i'm just hungry enough and need help enough that I'm going to shoot at them"

I wish I could do more than what I can...I have offered help here locally as they have just started to bring evacuees here (up to 2,000) of them but I think that activating people (Natl Guard) and get them along with supplies to the site in 2-3 days is actually quite a feat! WAY TO GO !! I mean you can't just fly everyone there...some have to drive otherwise when they get there they won't have vehicles to rescue people...so being a truck driver I know how long it takes to get places...and with the roads washed away and debris strung everywhere making the major inlets into the city unpassable I think they did a good job. They needed time to gather supplies so the rescue workers there dont' become a burden themselves. We dont' want to have to take care of a bunch of aid workers who need food and water themselves. Or god forbid a place to stay...I'm sure they were all being put up in hotels...oh wait no that's right their lives were mirroring the people there as they were working tirelessly everyday they were there to rescue these people for hours and hours everyday.

But DAMN them! for not responding quickly for all those people who couldn't evacuate. Why have we not heard about the other people that were HIT BY THE HURRICANE?!?! Instead of all the people that were affected by the flooding from their levy system? I mean who knew that if you built a city with the water being held back by concrete barriers that were 17-25 feet ABOVE the city that you might have this happen? Hmmm funny we didn't hear about this effort by the LOCAL SEABEES who's base and families were destroyed....but I'm sure it's a Black Thing as many have chosen to say....I'm sorry if I sound bitter but I'm really broken hearted about this but I only wish people themselves would have taken control of themselves...there's no reason that people should have been beaten with pipes, shot, raped etc....I'm done now...I have to stop otherwise I might say more than is needed....

Travel Centers of America

2005-09-02T04:07:00.000-06:00
Okay I am a truck driver....not at the moment but at heart and I will be AGAIN in about a month and half when my hubby gets back. So I am used to stopping at truck stops and I have always liked Travel Centers of America or TA's as they will now be known as in this post. Well i have been traveling to my mother's about 150 miles away at least once sometimes twice a week for the last couple of months. My daughter is now living there so I spend most of my time there. I stop at the SAME TA each trip...so sometimes 4 times a week. I get a cup of coffee and I like cream and sugar in my coffee (or as my husband calls it something that is the wrong color...he refuses to call it coffee when you add things to it) well they only have half & half and whole milk in this machine there that doesn't have a temperature gauge on it. Well i have worked food service years ago and that scares me! The first time i got it i ended up dumping it out in the parking lot because it tasted gross and really not right! So i have mentioned this before because there is always this light on the machine like something is wrong with. Of course none of the minimum wage workers there seem to know what this light means....

So I go in tonight as i'm driving home at midnight and buy $45.00 worth of gas....$2.89 a gallon! to get my normal cup of coffee. Well I figure tonight will be different than it was on Monday...they might actually HAVE coffee! Well I still had to tip the big metal pot down to get anything out so apparently they are ALMOST out of coffee. But of course they have NO sugar... and still that nasty cream! So i pay $3.50 for a small container of coffee mate that I could get for a $1.00 elsewhere (You want to talk about price gouging go into a truck stop and try to buy hygeine products or food) and I say to the guy "You are out of coffee" he says "Hmm that's too bad" <----huh?!? You are a truck stop you retard...coffee is as important as diesel! So then I tell him "You are out of sugar as well" he says "Yeah I know" <---oh so i'm not the first one that has mentioned this....Then i ask him if maybe the TA has considered offering a non dairy creamer for those that are lactose intolerant or prefer not to use scarey cream out of a machine....."If you offered a powder cream then I wouldnt' have to pay 3.50 for this little jar to keep in my truck when I stop here 2-4 times a week for coffee. What would the drivers do if they are lactose intolerant and maybe it might be something to think about" he says..." Well i guess if they don't like cream then they should learn to drink their coffee black" Oh you are shitting me right??!?!? So needless to say I had to walk to the restaurant to get sugar for my coffee, took my $3.50 creamer out to my truck and began to form the letter of complaint to the company. It isn't that they don't carry creamer I feel safe using it's that his customer service skills SUCK! I'm sorry but I'm giving that much money to fill up my pickup truck and I'm paying for my coffee and he acts like he's not there to do something for the customer's...I'm sorry that's why they pay you! Well i guarantee when I begin filling up 200 gallons of fuel at $3.00 a gallon....I'll be driving an extra 30 miles to get fuel at the Flying J.

The Family

2005-09-02T03:43:00.000-06:00
Me and my beatiful daughter! I keep her locked in the basement and that is why she isn't as tan as I am...I swear!! I DO NOT PAY for mine!!

This is my hubby...what a sexy man :) Course he's not normally so mean looking...but when it's 130 degrees outside you might have that look on your face as well!!

An Honorable Place

2005-08-30T00:21:00.000-06:00
I thought about this today as I heard Trace Adkins sing "Arlington". That song always brings a tear to my eye and i can't help it. I imagine the long lines of white crosses stretching across the land and think of each story that is left behind and each family that is left behind and how much honor is represented there. One day I was sitting here at the computer and I had an awful thought. One of those thoughts you dont' wish on anyone but you have to face as a military spouse. Where would I bury my husband if he never came home to me. But also where would I bury him when he passes in the future.

He grew up in a California and Utah and most of his dad's family lives in the south. He joined the Army at 17-18 and left Utah. This is not his home nor is it where I would stay if he wasn't here. He deserves to be buried somewhere that shows the honor that he had for his country. He told me once that he truely believes that the reason he was put on this earth is to serve his country....He deserves to be buried in a National Cemetary with his fellow hero's. But where? I was looking on the Arlington Site and saw that if he was to be cremated (which is his only request) that his ashes would simply be spread in a certain area with no marker. I don't know if I want that...I want someplace I can go and see him, to talk to him, to honor him. He is MY hero, MY husband and MY bestfriend. I am not sure where I would chose at this time. Thank god I don't have to.

I asked him and of course in his natural method of talking about things such as this he said "Why you got plans for when I get back?" or another comment was "What makes you think I will die first?" I was worried that his mother might want to bury him here in Utah because that is where she is. But this is not his HOME this is just where he lives....One day I will have to figure it out but for now I don't. But I know that it will be an honorable place....

Katrina

2005-08-29T23:49:00.000-06:00
Obviously tonight's post would be about Katrina. My husband's detachment is attached to a Battalion in Gulfport Miss. which we now know got the most damage whereas everyone thought New Orleans would. A friend of mine's husband was on his way back from Iraq and was not able to go home to Gulfport and is stuck in Maine at the moment. She is concerned and worried. I am scheduled to fly to New Orleans the first week of October...and hopefully will have a place to stay. But it will be interesting to see if everything is in order enough to even fly my husband and the rest of the Seabee's back there. Over 1 million people without power and it could be up to 2 months before they get it back...I can't imagine how huge the effects that will continue to show up as they recover.

I may be affected as well but hopefully not....the people that were suppose to fix my husband's pay are based in Gulfport. So hopefully they did the job they needed to on Friday...if not I don't know if he will get paid or not. Katrina's touch to my life will be so small compared to the devastation and death that they are experiencing there. Their entire lives gone in a wave...I love the ocean and would love to live in a small town there but it is times like t hese that i'm glad that I live surrounded by mountains and desert.

I will be thinking of their future and hope that if I go there in a month that I can see people pulling together as a community and starting to rebuild their lives.

A Good Neighbor

2005-08-28T13:02:00.000-06:00
I came home late last night then made apparently rambling posts and emails to my husband because he said he could tell I was tired because I wasn't making much sense! But anyway I got home and walked up to my door and noticed there was grass on my front porch...Now how the hell did that happen? I haven't been home lately and haven't mowed since 2 weeks ago. Hmmm someone mowed my lawn for me!! Wow go figure...someone does like me in the neighborhood! I think it's my good looking military neighbor. Woohoo ladies he is a hottie if you are single! A good looking apache pilot can move in next door to me ANYTIME!! Of course now he has his flag up on his front porch so I can't say to people "Just look for the house with the flag on it because i'm the only one in the neighborhood that has one". Hubby says I have to be nice and not scare him away because he thinks he is cool (they met while he was home on R&R) Would I do that?!?! NOT ME!!!! But anyway it was very nice because I wasn't looking forward to it this weekend and have lots other stuff I could be doing...I will have to catch him to see if he did it and if not then i'm a little concerned that there is a lawnmowing bandit running around the neighborhood just mowing people's lawns...My luck I will get a bill! Or they will get caught by the cops and won't come back next week...*please please mow my lawn again I will be a victim of your crime for as long as you want!!*

Tricare Drama Trauma

2005-08-28T02:41:00.000-06:00
Okay I was going through this whole episode with Tricare being stupid (a computer glitch I swear!! ) and they wouldn't authorize my shot for the "procedure"...well the dr's office wouldnt' give it to me ($714 is worth waiting for an authorization for) without the WRITTEN AUTHORIZATION from Tricare...understandable thanks Doc for looking out for my best interests! So I wait and wait and FINALLY they get word that Tricare has approved it on the 5th of August...So I get the shot on the 8th of August......The EOB comes in this weekend...DENIED (Not a covered service) well I have an authorization number and a form they sent me showing (TriWest Healthcare Alliance has approved a request from *Doctor's Name Here* to provide you with the following services Blah Blah Blah scientific name of painful shot in the hip region) Yeah so SCREW YOU TRICARE!! I'm sure it's just another "computer glitch" Of course they really need to be paying me by the hour as much time as I need to sit on the phone with these stupid people!

A Good or Bad Paying Job

2005-08-28T02:01:00.000-06:00
Okay this week has sucked...I mean honestly sucked!! Starts out I had a job in the morning on Monday...By 7 pm according to my MIL "She wasn't allowed to hire or fire anyone for now" Ummm okay whatever you psycho!! I told her how poor we were (Navy messed up our pay but I allready talked about that...) and instead she is letting her cheating husband blackmail her into keeping HIM and HIS GIRLFRIEND working at the company when I bent over backwards to offer to run the company and take over EVERYTHING. Well screw her! So I fixed the pay and don't need her! Can Do baby!!

So on to my next job I had this week....This goes along with the missing diamond event.... So I went on the hands and knees search all night....Nothing! So I was cleaning my mom's house (she was paying me anyway but obviously I would be looking for the diamond) and I did a very good job vacuuming it. So as I dumped all the contents of the vacuum out on the kitchen floor and was sifting through enough cat/dog hair to make my own chia pet and dust *sneeze* my daughter comes up....That is gross she says! "Awww yes honey but actually it's a job that pays very well if I find my diamond...About $2,000 an hour!" Of course as children think she says to me "Yes but if you don't find it then it really pays badly!!" <----True but like I needed to be a fatalist today! So as I got my hopes up that I found it mixed in the with fur...Nope wait it's not a diamond solitare...only a DOG TOENAIL CLIPPING! *gross* I realized it wasn't doing me any good. I didn't find it. So later that night I put my mom's head light on (I don't know what they are called but those lights you put on your helmet when you go into a cave) and I crawled around in the dark on my hands and knees hoping that this very clear, nicely cut and wonderful diamond would show up and reflect some of the light but it didn't....I loved that diamond it was so pure in color and clarity...We bought a smaller diamond that was higher quality and people would complement me on it all the time. I got out all the paperwork on the many rings my husband has bought me...apparently he bought the diamond replacement on the anniversary band he bought me but I don't have that on my solitare...go figure right?!? Only replacement in case of damage! Not losst....have to check if the homeowners somehow covers it tomorrow! I hate to do it but I might have to play the "Poor left at home Military Wife" thing !!! It's okay if I only use it for good and not evil right?!? Will keep updated on whether I get the diamond again or just a plain walmart band for now.

The Noises at Night

2005-08-25T22:42:00.000-06:00
The noises here are never ending. Someone revving the motor down our street...after all you need to stomp on the gas when the speed limit is 25 right? And of course there is the sound of the hamster cage coming from my daughters room. That is the most annoying sound EVER. She complains she can't sleep...well no doubt me neither! That stupid hamster will take everything and anything into it's wheel (a plastic enclosed wheel) and then run around non stop at night with the sound of hamster food swirling in it like i'm living in a starbucks listening to the sound of coffee grinding.

The quiet hum of the computer as I sit here for hours doing nothing. Chatting with friends from "over there" emailing my husband, waiting for my husband to email me...clicking send recieve in outlook just in case for some reason it didn't check the email automatically and there's an email from him sitting out there in never land. The sound of my dog's toe nails clicking on the wood floor because she is running from the front window to the backdoor thinking she heard something...she hears anything and everything...quick Whisky (the dog) I think i heard the neighbor blink...better run and bark! bark! bark!

Somedays when my daughter isn't here I sit late and night and realize I haven't heard my own voice all day long...I say something outloud just to know it's still there. It sounds odd coming out...like my voice is now foreign to me. People call me and say "i'm sorry to bother you" but there is no bother when the phone rings...it's someone to talk to at least. I once knew someone that said she was afraid she would forget her husbands voice because it had been so long since she talked to him on the phone. I told my husband this and then explained that I would never forget his voice...that it echo's in my mind when i do something silly, or stupid, or I have one of those bad days where I need encouragement. I also hear it when i'm feeling like my pants are too tight and my hair is too crazy....Funny how I can hear his voice and never forget but my own sounds odd when I don't talk outloud for a day.

Odd the things you think about late at night as i sit here...send/recieve...send/recieve....no answer yet tonight.

Owning Stock in Toilet Paper

2005-08-25T11:22:00.000-06:00
Hmmm scary title I know...You never know what I might say! But really this week has been the week from HELL!! And of course I've been very emotional lately with the whole forced menopause thing getting ready for my surgery...so i'm not normally a blubbering idiot but I have been lately!! Hence the tissue remark!!

Let's see I'll start from the beginning...The military has FUBAR'd my husband's pay and I got 1/2 of the amount I should have for August. This made it so I actually had to sell the waverunners to make our mortgage payment. Hubby asked what else I was going to sell before he got home...Told him EVERYTHING if he didn't figure it out! We don't even want to get into the "ex wife's comments regarding child support" She will get it when I get paid...I would be happy to write her a bad check but I doubt that will do either of us any good!! Apparently someone "forgot" to do his paperwork when he VOLUNTEERED to extend for 6 months and all of a sudden they decided to do that paperwork but instead of doing it correctly they took back 4 months of Combat Pay and Taxes. Of course I have it fixed now but have to wait till the 15th of September to see the money again.....So that check will have about 2,000 extra on it! Which is good. Doesn't help pay the bills or buy food at this time but heck I was on a diet anyway right?

Now i get "nascar bumped" on the freeway the other day. I swear this person hit me on purpose. Of course didn't stop even though he's just banged into be going 65 mph! I tried to pull over but the man slowed down so far he wasn't even going 30 mph trying to get it so i couldn't see his liscense plate number I'm assuming. I got that though cause i'm just that good! And his make and model and a description of him....of course I dont think the cops wanted the "Ugly ass punk who hit me and is dead if i see him at the mall " comment so I changed it to "Mid 20's, dark blond hair, blue shirt, slender build" ! There was only slight damage to my bumper luckily I am a "professional" driver because i was able to recover from the impact without over correcting.

Now what happens? Yes it gets better. I lose the diamond out of my wedding ring!! God knows where...and it's not some cheapo Kmart ring either...the diamond alone is worth only about $2000-2500. Chump change for me being so wealthy you know? I am at my mothers today so I have no idea if the insurance policy is still in effect. I emailed my husband and told him and hoped he didn't get mad at me...He wasn't (of course not like there would be a doubt) but he did say if I lost the WHOLE ring he might be mad. So now since we have NO money (see above) I can't even get a cheapo band if the diamond isn't covered....I told him i'm going to look like the cheating wife...tan line no ring! It's got to get better right?

Who's going to Margarittaville and wants to take me?!?!? I travel light.....But i have no money so please make it an all expense paid trip!! Pretty please!! Will write more when I get home and apparently I need to put a reminder on my cell phone so I will remember to post more instead of all at once.

Burnt Out

2005-08-15T22:51:00.000-06:00
Okay I swear sometimes I seem to live in a Jerry Springer episode. It's ridiculous! I realize I haven't posted in awhile but then I have been seriously burnt out with life lately! I have been having conflicting emotions about what to do with our lives when my husband gets back. We have planned to drive truck and I know that is what we will end up doing but I'm really wishing there was some other way. We need about $4000 to finish our house remodel and so we can sell it easily. Of course nobody is going to hand us that money (although i'm not scared if someone offered !) so that means that we have to come up with that money in addition to the normal living money...ummm not happening anytime soon. So I have to leave my daughter which is upsetting to me but I don't think it will be for too long.

Hubby is starting to come around about living in a small town and owning horses and being happy....he said it sometimes takes him a little longer than most people to figure out things! It's all good I love him! I've been an emotional mess lately...life has just been getting the better of me and it doesn't help that now i'm going through medication induced menopause (fear the woman with hot flashes at 28!!) I'm looking forward to driving truck don't get me wrong...I love the freedom and the road and all the people that I meet and the fact I get to spend 24/7 with my loving husband---can you tell I like him? But I just am sad about leaving my daughter...

She is happy at my mother's though. That gives me some comfort. I hope that soon once we get the money and can sell the house and get another one with some land that she can be happy with us as a family. Budget Budget Budget is going to be my motto the next year or so in order to save up money! I'm so busy lately getting things ready at the house that sometimes I forget that we need to sleep as humans...maybe that's part of my burn out...we shall see it's time for bed!

One More Reason to Stop Smoking

2005-08-02T01:20:00.000-06:00
I do not know if you smoke or not…but if you don’t please no lectures on how I should quit…I guarantee I hear it 20 times a day from my daughter! Yes I know it’s a nasty, dirty, stinky, unhealthy habit…and yes I hate it every time I light one up …wait I need to put out my cigarette it’s making it hard to type…JUST KIDDING!

Okay but back on track…If you do smoke then you may have experienced this at one point in your life and can see how traumatic it could be for me! I’m driving down the road in my old 1991 Toyota pickup… It’s storming in Wyoming….Thunder, lightening, rain and of course WIND! Lots of wind but that is a given in Wyoming. So I get done with a cigarette and I’m driving down the road and I had just passed a little corvette (dunno how that happened because I had a headwind which means the 4 cylinder truck was going about 65 if I stuck my foot out and pushed it ) but I put the cigarette out the window and all of a sudden the cherry on the top came flying off in a big gust of wind and it hit me on my shoulder!

Now it doesn’t just fly off my shoulder on it’s own…no it starts to burn my neck and I’m scared for my hair…so I quickly scream (dog thought that was annoying because she was sleeping next to me ) and brush it off hoping it lands on the rubber floor mat so I can stomp it out….no it doesn’t happen way. Instead it falls down my flimsy tanktop I’m wearing….I love this shirt…very summery looking and it’s made out of a guaze material so it’s very susceptible to fire damage! Well luckily it goes right past my bra and tummy (thank god for TaeBo or it might have landed on my stomach!!! ) down to my waist band of my shorts…the whole time I’ve got my right leg down as far as it can go hoping to inch out another 2 mph as I’m coming up to a hill and don’t want to be passed by semi truck drivers going 45 mph up the hill in my little truck (Oh how I miss my V8 Jeep!)

But I see it sitting there on my shorts and I very carefully pull the waistband of my shorts out (after of course I found it because when i moved and was looking for it the shorts rolled in a little and the burning cherry touched my belly and made me scream again!) I decide I’m going to once again shoot for the rubber floor mat by flicking it off my shorts and onto the floor….doesn’t happen that way…Instead of course due to the seatbelt I’m wearing (click it or ticket it!) I can’t get much room to “flick” so it just kinda falls off and lands on the seat underneath my leg….burning my thigh in the process (At this point I’m screaming like a girl and cussing like a sailor and my dog is looking as if I’ve just gone insane and she’s NEVER going to go back to sleep ) I’m hoping at this time it will have just burnt itself out as it’s wrecked havoc all the way down my body and onto the seat but no I begin to smell burning cloth (that would be my seat…. )

Well great I think! I’m now driving down the road one had on the wheel the other one braced against the window and one leg pushed firmly down on the gas peddle (cant’ give an inch otherwise it won’t speed back up with the wind) and one leg kinda braced up against the door keeping my bottom off the seat so I don’t get burned or get a hole in my pants…well I quickly look around for something to slide underneath me (such as the towel that my dog is laying on but she’s not giving it up without a fight and I’m not in a position to do that right now) Then I look over and see something…thank god for 10 year olds that NEVER finish a drink you buy them!! I see a water bottle…so in a move that would out a Twister Champion to shame I take my left hand off the window (now I’m holding myself up with only my thighs…good thing I do a lot of squats is all I can say!) put it on the wheel and quickly look to see where the corvette is I passed (safety first always is my slogan!! ) and I reach all the way across careful not to hit the gear shift and retreieve the bottle of water…open it with one hand and my teeth and pour it on the seat below me.

Now I don’t have time to mess around so I pour what appears to be 20 ounces of water on my seat as well as myself…I want to make sure it’s out! I take the next pull off and get out to the check the damage….no holes in my shirt or shorts !! Big burn mark on the seat but once again I don’t really care about the seat but of course I’m sopping wet and so is my seat…nothing I can do about that now…(oh wait it’s really going to suck….I have to stop and get gas in about 20 miles!!! ) So I drive down to the gas station that is 20 miles away…and get out to put gas in my car…now everyone is looking at me because it looks like I have had an “accident”….so I put my card in…fill up the gas tank and wash my windows while I’m waiting for the gas…I see a younger guy (younger than me and I’m 28…I figured he was like 24 or so) that kinda points at me towards his friend….and being the sarcastic one that I am I figured I will never see these people again why not make the most of the situation and give me something to laugh about on my way home…I look at him and smiled as sweet as can be and say “Bladder control is a bitch when you get older but what can you do?” Their eyes got wide and I just laughed and got in and drove off…If you can’t laugh at yourself what can you do ?

Just a Simple Procedure

2005-07-25T23:31:00.000-06:00
Okay without getting into too much personal information I'm going to have a minor "procedure" done soon. This will of course take care of (hopefully no promises but probably) issues I have had for years with my female parts. Of course there is a draw back to getting rid of awful pain, excessive time spent crying, ER visits, and overall fed up feelings of having to deal with this for so many years.....I can't have children anymore. Now actually I dunno why this would be a weird thought to me...After all I have a 10 year old, my husband had a vasectomy 6 months before I met him and we have been together going on 8 years and have no thoughts of quitting each other anytime soon. I don't WANT more children....But it's almost as if the thought of not BEING able to have more is what is bothering me the most. When I met my husband and realized that I was falling in love with him (about 5 days into knowing him LOL) my father brought up his fear about me dating him. That I was 20 years old and he couldn't have any more children...Was that something that I wanted to commit to for the rest of my life (aren't we all so optimistic in this time of divorce rates that we have to think about these things FOREVER!) so I did a lot of soul searching and figured out that no I didn't really want anymore...I wanted to be able to give ONE child all that she ever wanted (and yet I still fell short due to the fact that I am not independently wealthy) but I never wanted to have to chose between more than one child's future. So I was okay with that. And since I had her young I will be 36 when she is 18 and off to college...Why would I want to start out again now!?
But to my original idea here...Once I have this done I'm pretty much done...Doesn't matter if by some weird fact I have to look for another husband, Doesn't matter if I change my mind and want more...The chances of it that I can't. The whole difference between men and women even in an age of equality is that we have the right to bear children. Something a man can't do even with the marvels of medical science he can't do it. We are the mothers, the ones that see to the wounds of our young, get up early to curl hair on picture day, ask ourselves everyday while we work am I still a good mom if I didn't make it to the book fair today at school?!
So is it odd for me to think that by taking away this right I was given than I am not the same? That I am somehow not a woman anymore? I dunno if there is a right answer to that...I do know that even if I don't have this "simple procedure" then the chances of me having to have a full hysterectomy in a few years lingers high above my head and it won't matter then. So I guess I will have the simple procedure done...But hey at least there's no more midnight runs to the grocery store once a month because I didn't plan ahead! There's always a bright side to everything!
Tricare allready has my referral in place and I go into for my shot that I have to get 2-3 weeks before hand sometime this week...No backing out then!